Sunday, November 13, 2005

lessons learned in a weekend...

It has been a weekend of ups and downs. It's been a shock. After a period of what felt like inactivity (though, in hindsight, it was anything but inactive), I feel like I've been on a roller coaster over the past few days.

On Friday, a difficult and frustrating working relationship came to an end under uncomfortable and painful circumstances. In retrospect, I realize that this was the result I really wanted all along. I realize now that I should have ended the relationship long ago. I knew that the person involved was someone with whom I absolutely could not work. It's as though we speak completely different languages. I left every meeting frustrated, angry, and exhausted. It was supposed to be a temporary situation, and I was hoping to be able to stick it out, but honestly the outcome, painful though it was, was the best possible. It was a job I don't really need anymore, and though I will miss many aspects of it, the benefits (the time it has freed up in my schedule and my mental and emotional well-being) far outweigh the costs. Lesson learned: well, actually.... I had hoped to say I learned to keep my big mouth shut, but in actuality I'm not ashamed of anything I said, though I do admit my timing could have been better. However, if I had trusted my inner voice which was screaming at me that this was a situation destined for disaster, I could have avoided the whole thing.

Second lesson learned: sometimes it's worth the wait. I auditioned for a local company in June, for an opera coming up this spring that I was very interested in doing. After so many months of waiting, though I knew they hadn't finished making offers yet, I had more or less given up hope. However, on Friday I received an offer for a role. While it is not the lead role that I had originally hoped for, it is a significant and fun role in the opera and will be a great first experience in what I hope to be a long list of roles by this composer. I've been receiving lots of feedback that it's great rep for me to be singing, and I'm excited to start exploring it onstage.

Lesson #3: it never hurts to ask. I received a letter several days ago explaining that I had not been granted an audition for a particular young artists' program. I was disappointed: they are doing an opera next year that is right up my alley, and I had had a couple of coachings with someone on the staff of the program who had seemed to like my voice and enjoy working with me. I talked with my teacher about it she was surprised. "I know D, she said, would you be comfortable if I asked him about it?" Well, D approached me yesterday, and said that it had all been a mistake -- he had specifically remembered my name coming up while they were listening to tapes and had said he knew me and wanted to hear me!

Finally, I've learned that hard work really does pay off. I sang (for the final time, as I am at the age limit) at the Met auditions yesterday -- a nation-wide competition that hundreds of young singers participate in every year. I was not given a prize, however, I was happy with how I sang, and was looking forward to feedback from the judges. All three had constructive things to say, of course, and that's why I had asked them for feedback, but it was different this year than ever before. In the past, there have always been basic technical issues, mostly dealing with my high range, which I was aware of, that were a constant theme through all three judges. This year, I received the following comment: "You have a great, easy top. It's nice to hear a mezzo with a top that really works. I was impressed." YIPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEE!

Ok, in reading over this post, I realize that it was not a weekend of ups and downs after all. In fact, it was more a weekend of one down at the beginning and then lots of ups! There's still half a day left, of course, but enough excitement for 3 days! I'm ready now to relax, and maybe clean my neglected bathroom....


Gia-Gina said...

So glad you got this taken care of and out of your system. I had to do the same thing a while back and was torn up about it but in the end it was for the best.

mezzogregory said...

whoo, so much movement after the inertia.

Congrats on your role! Keep truckin' girl. Hojoto!