I...

Thanks for the tag, acb, for my 100th post on this blog.

I am counting down the days, and practically the hours now, until the end of the school year, and looking forward to a summer with time for exercise, practice, meditation, and all the other things I’ve been sorely missing for the last few months.

I am not looking forward to tackling the gigantic mess that is my apartment at the moment.

I want to know that I have done my absolute best in anything I have attempted.

I wish that I were always present enough to appreciate every moment.

I hate being stuck in traffic so horrible that it takes an hour and a quarter to travel a distance that should take 10 minutes, particularly when I have a middle school choir concert to conduct on the other side!

I love Seattle when the weather is starting to turn summery. Every time I step outside I am awestruck by the absolute beauty of this city and region.

I miss, sometimes, the time when I was just starting singing, when auditions were things I did for the experience of doing them, and I never worried about whether or not I would get a gig. What a great attitude to have in this business.

I fear becoming jaded in some way and losing the joy I get from singing along this crazy, winding path.

I hear the whir of the fan and the hum of the computer in my classroom -- blissful silence before the next class of the day.

I wonder what my voice will sound like next week, next month, next year, as I’m making strides technically and musically.

I regret letting friendships slip away when distance or life interferes and makes things complicated.

I dance more rarely now than I’d like. Another way to use my time this summer.

I sing in my car on the way to work, lately to this album, and this one, oh, and this one and this one.

I cry with joy to see children making music or putting their absolute all in to anything, and almost always at movies. Especially this one.

I am not always (or ever) good at keeping my car clean, inside or out, particularly when I practically live in it as I have lately.

I make with my hands a kick-ass apple pie, and various knitting projects, when I have time. Wow, all that extra time this summer is filling up fast!

I write to clarify my thoughts, to understand myself better by taking a step back from situations, and to keep my grandma informed about what’s going on in my life. :)

I confuse Andy Garcia with Nicholas Cage, and Robert DeNiro with Dustin Hoffman. Don’t ask me why.

I need to learn the alto and soprano II solos in Bach’s B Minor Mass very quickly for a gig that recently came up.

I should compile a list of music to be working on this summer (after the B Minor Mass, of course), and get organized for an upcoming demo recording.

I started a diet 12 days ago. 7 pounds down, 23 to go. Ugh.

I finish almost every book I start, though I haven’t had time to start many lately.

I tag Gia-Gina.

the world according to a 6-year old

One of my first-grade piano students came in to her lesson after my recital a couple weeks ago. I still had my dress on -- plain black, knee-length, with nude hose and black pumps.

Student: You're dressed all fancy today.
Me: Thank you. I had a recital this afternoon.
Student: And you're wearing make-up, which you almost never do.
Me: That's true.
Student: My mommy wears make-up every day.
Me: Yes, lots of women like to wear it everyday.
Student: She won't leave the house without it on. And she's always touching up her lipgloss and stuff. I think it's kinda weird.

happiness....

...or, "why I shouldn't read that online forum."

As I was driving home from school a few days ago, I was listening to NPR. The were playing an interview with Daniel Gilbert, Harvard professor and author of this book. In it, he hypothesizes that we tend to overestimate the effects of both the happiest and least happy moments of our lives. Brides often can't recall many details about their wedding days a few months later, winning the lottery brings lots of responsibility and stress when one really starts thinking about what to do with her money, breaking up with that boyfriend turned out to be better for you than you realized at first, etc. He also says that we minimize the positive effects of happy events when we expect them or have explanations for them happening. For example, one who had a good audition for a company and then read an online forum everyday where second- or third-hand rumors were flying about from people hearing or waiting to hear from said company, might minimize his or her happiness when and if s/he were offered a role with that company. Conversely, reading about other people receiving rejections and then receiving one him/herself would not necessarily minimize the disappointment. Since there are no substantiated stories of anyone hearing about casting, one would be well advised to stop reading said online forum and put it out of his/her mind....

...hypothetically, of course.... :)

ghosts

I always feel nostalgic in late spring. I’m not sure why. It probably has to do with the fact that, up until now, many of the major events in my life have happened in spring and summer – graduation from schools, international travel, my wedding, deciding that I wanted to sing, recitals, summer programs, moving to new places or moving home from them…. In any case, at this time of year, I often feel a need to reconnect with people from my past, ghosts whom I carry with me on this path.

It amazes me how easily that is often done in this day and age of technology. Anyone wanting to get in touch with me could do so within 20 seconds online. In fact, one friend from the past did just that last week, via this blog. Apparently I’m not the only one feeling a little nostalgic lately! I’m lucky this year – I’ll be visiting a few places from my past in the next month or so. This has inspired me. In the past week I’ve heard from 6 different “ghosts.” Some I haven’t seen or talked to in a few months or a few years. With one, it’s been a decade since we’ve been in touch. Nearly all of them I will see in the next couple of months. It’s so exciting to reconnect with people. For a little while, at least, these ghosts will become people to me again, and we will get to know each other, as these new versions of ourselves, musicians and artists, that we have become over the last few years. It is these connections with others that nourish and renew us, isn’t it? It’s a big part of why we’re here.