les histoires de moi

a great and generous man...

2007-09-07T07:35:00.000-07:00

I received an email from a colleague JC, the conductor of a local boys' choir, late last night. I thought that this story was the most touching tribute I had read all day.

Pavarotti was a great advocate of music education, and often invited a youth arts organization to open for him at his performances. In 1985, he was in Seattle, performing at Key Arena, and the boychoir was given this honor. JC had heard that Pavarotti's favorite song was Vittoria, mio core!, and though it wasn't part of the boys' performance set, he wrote a 3-part arrangement and had the boys learn it, in case they had an opportunity to sing it at the sound check for him. They didn't. Backstage after the concert, they met one of his assistants, who said that Mr. Pavarotti was sorry only to have heard their last song. On a whim, they gathered outside his dressing room and sang the arrangement of Vittoria. At some point, JC noticed that the boys had stopped watching him, and he knew that Mr. Pavarotti had come out of his dressing room. Pavarotti had everyone backstage be quiet for the rest of the song while he stood and listened, and at the end he praised them and thanked them several times before returning to his dressing room.

A moment later, his assistant came out and said that Mr. Pavarotti would like to meet the boys. Over the next hour, he had them come in to his dressing room in small groups, with their parents, spoke with each of them, and posed for pictures with them. JC said it right at the end of his email: "This was the act of a great and generous man!" Indeed.

Pavarotti

2007-09-06T07:37:00.000-07:00

The opera world has suffered so many losses of great artists this year that when I read the news this morning, my initial reaction was to close my laptop. It couldn't possibly be true. There are some people in the world that I assume to be immortal, and Pavarotti was certainly one of them. His Nessun Dorma is my earliest opera memory, I think. Even as a small child, I remember thinking, "How can that sound come out of a person? How is this possible?" The whole world is mourning today for this man with the golden voice that touched so many.

summer's over!

2007-09-04T17:48:00.000-07:00

How did that happen? Suddenly, it's autumn. It's my favorite season. Every year at this time, I'm grateful that I have a job that is somewhat dependent on the school year. It ensures that every September, I get to have that "new beginnings" feeling. In the two weeks since I've been home from Banff (which continued to be an amazing experience -- more posts on that to come), I've been organizing my schedule of performances and students for the upcoming season. Many returning students, a few new ones, including three boys!

It's funny, I'd been working all summer under the assumption that this year was fairly light for me, performance wise, but as I was updating my website last week, I realized that I'm actually extremely busy! A nice realization to come to. Not a lot of opera this year, but the role I'm scheduled for is one that I'm really excited about -- Donna Elvira in Don Giovanni. I had been nervous about it, since it's traditionally sung by sopranos, but I had the good fortune to study this summer with fabulous mezzo Judith Forst, who has sung the role many times, and convinced me that we high mezzos can do it! I've been working on it, and so far, so good! I'm hoping to be able to coach with Judith on it a few times before rehearsals begin in the spring. It's the perfect setting to try the role out -- with the puppet opera! I can't imagine a more fun, joyful, supportive environment.

Most of my season this year is concerts and recitals, which is just fine by me. Next week, I'm headed to Victoria, BC to do a recital at my alma mater, with my piano professor at the keyboard! I was invited to come up as a guest artist, and it feels like I'm coming full circle in a way. I'm singing some of my favorite pieces -- Mahler's Lieder Eines Fahrenden Gesellen, Debussy's Chansons de Bilitis, and Britten's A Charm of Lullabies. Then, my first Elijah in October, more recitals (Mahler and Brahms) in late October, and two different Messiahs in December. One is with a chamber orchestra and chorus, which should be particularly fun.

In the middle of all this are some pops concerts with the Seattle Symphony, previews of Seattle Opera's upcoming Iphigenia in Tauris (I'm singing Iphigenia), some film score work (listen for the Hallelujia chorus parody in the Shrek Christmas special this winter!), and two shows in the Seattle Opera chorus (Pagliacci and Tosca). I've never done any opera chorus work before, so I'm giving it a try.

So, I'm a busy girl! It seems like a great variety -- all of it fun!

Golijov

2007-07-09T21:46:00.000-07:00

One of my biggest performance assignments here at Banff happened this past Friday, at the end of our first week here. Osvaldo Golijov was the composer and residence here this summer, mentoring the young composers, and working on a cello concerto for Alisa Weilerstein (who was also here last week, and participated in several performances – what an amazing musician!), which will receive it’s premiere next month at the Mostly Mozart Festival at Lincoln Center. I was given a piece for voice and string quartet, entitled How Slow the Wind. The text is from two short poems by Emily Dickinson and, like most of Osvaldo’s vocal works, it was composed for Dawn Upshaw. He wrote the piece after the death of a dear friend of his, in a car accident in Argentina. A young couple with their baby ran in to a tree, and the man and baby both survived, but the woman, Mariel, was killed. The piece represents the loss of someone that is completely sudden and unexpected, as opposed to the loss of a loved one from an illness, or other more drawn-out circumstances. Hearing Osvaldo tell the story at our first coaching with him last week, I had to fight back tears. He was so open in his sharing of the accident, and seemed to speak directly from his heart, and suddenly the piece, which had been beautiful before, became so much more meaningful and powerful. It’s one of the reasons I love working with composers on their pieces. We, as musicians, get so much information from our scores and program notes, but nothing can take the place of personal experience and interaction with the composer. Still, it can be intimidating to be in an intimate, rehearsal setting, trying to bring to life what the person sitting in front of you intended in a piece of music, and I was quite nervous for our first coaching. Luckily, Osvaldo was so lovely to work with! The next morning, sitting with him at breakfast, I knew I had done something right: he turned to me and said, smiling, “I emailed Dawn last night to tell her that everything is good with her piece.” I will take that as a stamp of approval!

Here’s a picture in the lovely recital hall at the dress rehearsal. From left to right: Emily (violin 2), Catherine (violin 1), me, Osvaldo, Indre (who sang his Lua Descolorida with the same quartet), Francisco (cello), and Marie-Eve (viola). A fantastic quartet!

breaking the silence

2007-07-09T21:41:00.000-07:00

Long time no post! Sorry about that. It seems that the rest of my life has been taking up all my attention for the past couple of months. But, I arrived in Banff a week ago, and I thought this would be a good time to get back to the blog. More to come, but here are some pictures from the balcony of my dorm room. Suffice it to say that this summer promises to be an incredible musical and artistic experience. And the setting? Not bad either!

puppet opera recap

2007-05-02T09:54:00.000-07:00

The puppet opera is done, and it was a lovely and joyous experience from beginning to end. Sometimes, I think experiences come in to our lives at the exact time and in the exact way that we need them, and this was definitely an example of that. Some thoughts on the process, in no particular order:

Everyone involved in this project was so wonderful to work with. I realized close to the end that there had not been a negative word spoken since we had started the project -- no tension between the performers, no talking behind anyone's backs. It was very refreshing, and made for a really easy rapport between everybody involved.

I realized how much I've been missing chamber performances. There were 12 people involved in this project -- 5 singers, 4 instrumentalists, and 3 puppeteers, and as we all became comfortable with the piece and each other, it was so fun to engage in play with each other in rehearsals, and in every performance. There were eight performances, which is a lot (at least, more than I usually get to do with the same group of people), but it never got even a little bit old and stale. The singers and instrumentalists traded ornaments, the puppets reacted to us, and vice versa, and there was a real sense of synergy. It's the same feeling one gets working with a great pianist on a recital, but the feeling is multiplied when there are more people involved. This particular piece was almost entirely recitative, so that allowed even more play between characters and with the continuo players. I'll get to do some chamber music at Banff this summer, so I'm really looking forward to that.

Even an intense rehearsal schedule (we put the show together in one week, with about 6 hours of rehearsal every day) can be made pleasant with good colleagues, tea, and lots of high quality chocolate!

There's a lot of change happening in my life right now. Most of it is good, but change is always hard. I think that being around so much joy and love and laughter every day has really opened my heart to allow some things in that I probably would have resisted otherwise. In a time when lots of things are feeling out of control and unsettled, it has been a real blessing.

This has been a season filled with Baroque music for me, and the more I do the more I love it. I'm feeling more at home all the time with the style, I'd be very happy to have much more of it in my future!

I got a great compliment from a friend who came to see the show. "I've never seen or heard someone act so much with just their voice!" The musicians were all dressed in black and sitting with music stands at the side of the stage, so the audience could see us, but the puppets (obviously) were the center of attention. Singing a role (well, 3 roles, actually) from a chair, with no staging, gave me a great opportunity to explore characterization in other ways, experimenting with different vocal colors, and really delving in to the text in a detailed way. We do this as performers onstage as well, of course, but isolating these elements was very rewarding, and something we don't often get to do. I felt like I grew a lot as a performer from the experience. What a great way to make a living, right?

Now, on to the next thing. I have an audition and competition at the end of the month that I need to prepare for, and hopefully assignments from Banff will be coming soon, so I'll have lots of music to dive in to. More on all this soon!

pupi per tutti!

2007-04-21T10:00:00.000-07:00

Ruggiero opened last night. I've had so much fun this week getting comfortable with my roles, working with the musicians and the Carters, all of whom are wonderful, joyous people, learning so much about music, puppets, and life in general, and getting ready for this fabulous show! It's gotten some great preview press, and opening night was nearly sold out, so get your tickets now if you want to come to a performance! Here are some pictures to tempt you. First, the stage. The waves in the front are turned by a hand crank during the prologue and epilogue, and Neptune, sea horses, fish, and various other creatures rise from the depths to sing.

This is one of my characters, Alcina, a sorceress who lures Ruggiero (left) to her island. The Carters let us singers hold some of the puppets last night before the show -- Ruggiero weighs about 20 pounds!

Below is my other main character, Melissa, another sorceress who transforms herself in order to rescue Ruggiero (along with many other of Alcina's ex-lovers, who have been transformed in to enchanted plants) from the island.

Pulcinella, on the left, is a commedia dell'arte character who was added to this production for comic relief. On the right is my favorite of the monsters (because what puppet show would be complete without some monsters?) He talks from the face in his stomach and that huge tongue comes out and slimes Pulcinella during the climactic battle scene. :)

Alcina does not appreciate being double-crossed by Melissa. (the puppet's head spins around to reveal her true nature, below)

How fun, right????

taxes

2007-04-08T15:00:00.000-07:00

Every performer or otherwise self-employed person loves tax time, right? Ummmm... yeah, right....

Every year, I dread the day I finally sit down to enter all our information and find out how much we owe, and it's never as bad as I think it's going to be. I should really learn from that and remind myself not to procrastinate so much next year. We'll see how that goes.

For the past couple of years, I've been using this handy-dandy deduction worksheet for artists/performers that was sent to me by an accountant friend of mine. When I finally break down and have someone else do our taxes, I'm sure this will come in very handy. It has an excel sheet for each month and a place to enter your deductions each day in various categories, and then everything magically adds up on a separate sheet with yearly totals. I know, it's not rocket science, but it cuts the amount of time I spen going through receipts and such at the end of the year by probably 75%. My taxes used to take a full day. This year they took 2 hours. Not bad. The good news -- we made 20% more this year than last year on our gross adjusted income, and the taxes we owe are down by about 15% from last year. Woo hoo! We still owe plenty, believe me, but it's not nearly as much as I had feared. This is due mostly to the fact that I was employed full time by a school during the spring semester last year and had taxes being withheld from my paycheck, which doesn't normally happen for me. However, I also ended up with lots more deductions than last year (more audition trips, and more expensive voice lessons). I made significantly more as a performing singer last year than I have in the past -- it's kind of fun to look back and see the numbers ticking up over recent years. The other good news is that the amount we owe is significantly less than what I had saved up in my "tax account." The rest will go into savings or to pay off some debt, but a little will become some extra spending money on our vacation next week. Yes, that's right, a VACATION! Only for 3 days, but still! I'm very excited about it.

Ah, and now I can curl up on the couch and watch a movie, with no feelings of guilt or dread hanging over me. :)

a goal...

2007-04-06T14:34:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about gratitude and being truly present in the moments of my life, and how that relates to singing and performing. I am so grateful to have this amazing job that brings joy and communicates to people on a deep level. It seems to me the best way to show that gratitude, and the best means to opening the most direct line of communication, is by being as present as possible, moment to moment, in performance. It's not that I'm generally un-present during performances (in fact, I've always felt very involved, mentally and emotionally) but it has occurred to me as I've explored these concepts in other areas of my life lately that a deeper level of awareness is possible, and the St. Matthew seems the perfect opportunity to play with this idea. At the dress rehearsal on Wednesday night, I experimented with taking a moment before my arias to focus my energy on the beauty of the music, the meaning of the text, and what I wanted to convey in my interpretation, and one of the arias in particular was a truly transformative experience. For me, that is. I can't speak for the audience, though the feedback I got from my fellow soloists was very positive. So tonight, at the performance, my goal is to be completely present every time I breathe to sing a phrase, aware of the power and exquisite beauty of this music and the message I'd like to convey.

a few changes...

2007-04-02T21:25:00.000-07:00

I was playing around with my blog layout tonight. I haven't added all the links yet -- I'll have to get to that tomorrow (or soon, anyway!). I have officially taken my first stab at a banner as well. Not sure I'm entirely happy with it, but it's a start!

random thoughts...

2007-04-02T19:39:00.000-07:00

I had a coaching with PK today for my upcoming St. Matthew Passion on Friday. It's my first St. Matthew, and it's quite a big sing for the alto -- 5 arias, a duet with the soprano, and some recits as well, of course. The pieces take me on a journey that runs the entire gamut of emotions. It's quite an amazing (if a little exhausting) experience! PK is a wonderful coach, particularly for Bach, and it was one of those experiences where I realized halfway through that there was absolutely nothing I'd rather be doing in the world at that moment than to be there, working on that amazing music with someone so completely passionate about it. It's quite a fantastic job that I have.

It's my favorite time of year in Seattle right now -- the plum and cherry and magnolia trees are all blooming, and just starting to drop their petals so that a blanket of palest pink covers the ground under the trees. A few sunny, mid-60s days have started to creep in between the 50s and rain of early spring, and everyday there are new trees that have burst with that cheerful, light-green of baby leaves. I celebrated by getting my first pedicure of the season. :) Not really singing related, but fun nonetheless.

I just received my final rehearsal schedule for the puppet opera. Turns out that I'll be playing a bit of recorder as well! I was a flutist in a former life, and I've played a little recorder, but I am by no means an expert! Hopefully the part will not be too difficult. :)

Other than the puppet opera, I have a growing pile of music to learn on my piano right now, including a newly-added aria on my list for an upcoming audition, and some things I'm considering for a recital in the fall. Debussy's Chansons de Bilitis, and Mahler's Lieder eines Fahrenden Gesellen are in for sure, and I'm also looking at some Spanish songs, which I'll hopefully be able to use somewhere else in the fall as well. More on both of those things later.

I finally came down with my first cold of the winter. It just squeaked in there before the equinox, so I guess it's also my only cold of the winter. It was bound to happen. The woman who is double-cast with me in the school-tour Barber was out for almost 2 weeks with a terrible cold, so I was in the van with 5 other people every day, going to schools full of children with early spring runny noses. During that time, I was also unable to get any swimming in, so it was no surprise when I started sneezing about a week ago. It seems to be about gone now, though. It was actually good timing -- my counterpart got healthy and made up some of her missed shows last week, and I had my first week in quite a while without any other rehearsals, auditions, or gigs, so I had plenty of time to rest and very little singing to do. Now that I'm healthy, it's back in to the pool tomorrow!

That thing is happening to me right now that seems to happen every spring, where I suddenly find myself getting back in touch with long-lost friends and colleagues. It's one of my favorite things, catching up with old friends, so it's been fun!

I think that pretty much brings you up to date for the moment. A more in-depth post coming soon!

don't mind me and my split personalities...

2007-03-15T20:11:00.000-07:00

I met with the music director yesterday for the marionette opera that I'll be involved in next month. My role has changed a few times since I became involved in this project. The opera is called La Liberazione di Ruggiero dall'Isola d'Alcina. First, I was hired to sing Melissa, who ultimately rescues Ruggiero from Alcina's island. Then, I was singing Alcina. Now, I'm singing... both! Alcina is a higher role, a magical temptress who can turn people in to enchanted plants, among other fun things. Melissa's singing lies a lot lower. She's "the good one" in the opera, and a much more grounded and earthy character than Alcina. She also has magical powers, but uses them only for good. In order to rescue Ruggiero, she transforms herself in to Atlante, and at this point she will be sung by a bass, so I won't be singing her entire role, but once she transforms back in to herself, she has a confrontation scene with Alcina, so I'll be talking to myself for a good 5 minutes or so. How fun! I guess I'll be experimenting with different vocal colors and characters! Of course, there will be different puppets onstage, so hopefully it won't be confusing for the audience.

In other news, apparently my Canadian envy has paid off -- I'll be spending six weeks at the Banff Centre this summer, participating in their Opera as Theatre Program! Woo hoo!!! I'm not exactly sure what my assignments will be there, but more on that as things develop. At the very least, I'll be spending six weeks in a great program in an absolutely stunning setting, so I'm excited!

note to self...

2007-03-09T09:03:00.000-08:00

Don't sing coloratura like I'm playing scales on the piano!

I've been working on Rossini lately, trying to gain some freedom in the runs. In a coaching the other day, BK stopped in the middle of "Non piu mesta" and said, "This is great. But, you know, you don't have to accent every 4th note of every scale! It sounds like a piano exercise." And I flashed back to the 15-year old me, who used to spend 30 minutes every day playing every major and minor scale in succession, 4 octaves in 16th notes, parallel and contrary motion, and accenting every 4th note! Of course, I didn't always play this way in actual pieces of music, but somewhere in me, I feel like that's the way scales are done. I've been thinking about my coloratura for months now, working on it with my teacher, talking to people about it, and everything helped a little, but nothing was really the answer. I guess I just had to hear it from a fellow pianist!

The result? I tried the run again, thinking all the way to the end in one long line, and ta-da!!!! Smooth, exciting, easy, long scale! Well, until I dissolved in to giggles at the end. :)

Canada rocks my world.

2007-03-04T10:02:00.000-08:00

I was in Vancouver this weekend auditioning for the Banff Centre. I have auditioned for them a few times before. It's always a good excuse to visit some great friends in Vancouver and indulge in lots of yummy tapas and sangria at our favorite restaurant. Generally, I think they prefer to hire Canadians, but the audition went very well, and I'm hoping that the fact I'm an alumna of a Canadian University might help me out a little. If only they knew how much I really want to be Canadian! Canada is so cool!

First of all, the spelling. I feel so much more sophisticated going to the theatre, or attending a centre for something. Secondly, it's great to feel like I'm getting a refresher course in French every time I go to the grocery store. Also, it (well, Vancouver and Victoria, anyway) really feels like home. When I went to Indiana after finishing my bachelor's degree in Victoria, I found that immediately I had met a circle of Canadian friends. I felt, still feel, I think, more of an identity as someone who has lived in Canada than I do as an American, in broad terms. Of course, Seattle, is probably the most Canadian of any major US city, so that probably has something to do with it.

Canada, like the US, has had new designs for their money in the last few years. The picture of the queen has been aged appropriately, and her picture is bigger on the front. I noticed a quote on the back (in English and French, of course!) by Gabrielle Roy: "Nous connaitrons-nous nos-memes seulement un peu sans les artes?" "Can we ever know each other even a little without the arts?" On their MONEY, people! I mean, come on! How cool is that?

In other news, I'm ready to get cracking on my spring projects -- the St. Matthew Passion and the first opera known to be written by a woman: La Liberazione di Ruggiero dall' isola di Alcina, by Francesca Caccini. I'll be performing this with the Northwest Puppet Center. I'm totally excited about both of these projects, and ready to dive in. There are some exciting things in the works for next fall (one having to do with Canada, even!), but more on that later when they solidify a little more.

sick singers

2007-02-07T11:53:00.000-08:00

I'm sure it's no news to singers, teachers, or anyone else that we are deep in to cold and flu season. In rehearsals for my upcoming previews of Seattle Opera's Giulio Cesare last weekend, over half of the singers were out sick. My lesson was cancelled this week because J has a lingering chest infection. Poppea opens on Friday, and most of the cast has come down with a terrible cold. In fact, one of the continuo players even has pneumonia! Most are on the mend, but one, with a very large role, went home yesterday. There are no covers for this production, so this made for a very exciting rehearsal process over the last several days. One singer who was previously singing several small roles has learned the music and blocking for the lead role virtually overnight (and will be fantastic!), and two singers with smaller roles have taken on extra roles to pick up the slack. It's amazing what people are capable of when the need is there. Anyone in town this weekend or next should definitely come see this production -- it's going to be great!

Somehow (knock on wood), I've avoided the plague so far, though my husband called from school a few minutes ago to say he thinks he has bronchitis, and a third of his class is out today with either bronchitis or pneumonia. I'm focusing on getting lots of sleep, drinking tons of water, and taking my vitamins for the next few days -- no time to be sick!

Every singer, I think, has a ritual for avoiding colds and flu. So far, I've been successful at fighting off sickness all winter. Mostly, I attribute this to the fact that I've been swimming most mornings, so my lungs and muscles are in better shape than they have been in years. I've been doing Emergen-C or Airborne when I'm in crowded places like planes or classrooms or when I'm around sick people, and Umcka and Zicam at the first hint of stuffy nose or tickle in my throat, and lots of water and tea. It's worked so far -- keep your fingers crossed!

last one!

2007-01-18T18:57:00.000-08:00

I did my last YAP audition of the season today, here at home for Seattle Opera. (I might not actually be done yet, if I get a call-back -- stay tuned!) The day in general was a good reminder to me of why I've never had a ritual before auditions and performances. Many singers have certain things they like to eat, warm-ups at a certain time of day, and lots of other little things. I've always resisted these things. Why? Well, first of all, it seems like it makes the whole day in to a really big deal, when really it's just one small part of what we do as singers. An important part, certainly, but no more important than anything else, in the long run. Also, what happens when something happens in your day to prevent you from having your usual ritual? It's always seemed to me like it's just asking for added stress.

Today, my audition was at 12:15. This morning, I got up, caught up on some emails, took a shower, ironed my audition blouse, hummed a few notes, and tried to print out my resume. No toner! Not to worry, I had a copy from when I was in New York last month. Almost up to date, except that it still listed my December gigs under "upcoming engagements." Whatever, the panel will certainly get over that, if they even notice. Then, my pantyhose had a run. No more pairs of nude hose in the drawer. Oh, well. I found a pair of black ones. I wear slacks at my auditions lately (most of my list is trouser role arias these days), so it really didn't matter much. Still, I got a late start to my 9:00 a.m. staging rehearsal for Rosina. Then, on my way, I was pulled over because my car tabs have expired. They expire at the end of December and I always forget to renew them, with the holidays and all. I thought of it the other day, but there was no time to do it this week, and today my luck ran out. At least the officer was friendly and polite! I was 5 minutes late to my rehearsal, but apparently everyone else got stuck in traffic this morning, so it was no big deal. I hadn't done much warming up this morning, because I figured I'd do plenty of warming up at rehearsal. (I find a little Rossini is a great warm-up in the morning.) Unfortunately, we staged the beginning of the finale of our little show today, and Rosina doesn't do much singing at all for the first pages, so I had only sung a few notes by the time I left for the audition at 11:00. So, no time for rituals this morning! :)

I got a nice little warm-up in the car on the way to my audition (only about 15 minutes from the rehearsal), found a great parking space, and checked in with plenty of time to relax and collect my thoughts before going in. Seattle asked everyone to bring a monologue to auditions this year, and I love my monologue, so I was excited about that. I decided, after a coaching last week, to start with Komponist today. I've never done that at an audition before, but I was encouraged by my coach last week, and it's been feeling great lately, so I thought, why not? The audition went great. I was very happy with Komponist, and they surprised me by asking for Dopo Notte, a showy, Handel da capo aria. Generally, panels will only hear the A section of a long Handel aria, I've found, or sometimes the A and B sections, and then will cut the singer off before the second A section at the end. So I was a little surprised when I got to the end of the B section and I didn't hear any "thank you"s from the panel. I sang the whole thing, all 8 and a half minutes of coloratura and all 12 high As, and I have to say I was very happy with it. It was nice, actually, to get to do all the ornamentation I've worked out for the da capo section, and it occurred to me that I'm not sure anyone other than teachers and coaches have ever heard that section from me before! At the end we chatted for several minutes, mostly about the upcoming Poppea performances, then I did my monologue, and then I was done!

...and, as I've been writing this, I got a call with a call-back for tomorrow! Woo hoo! Now, what to start with tomorrow? This cold I've been fighting off will have to stay away for one more day....

gratitude 1/6/07

2007-01-06T21:39:00.000-08:00

Lately I’ve been feeling tremendous gratitude for many things and people in my life. I suppose it’s sort of a New Year’s resolution – to recognize and appreciate the things I have. I’ve found that, once I start listing the things I’m grateful for to myself, it’s quite contagious and difficult to stop!

When I was younger, I used to keep a “happy book.” It was a tiny notebook, about 3”x3”, and it was filled with a running list of things, big and small, that made me happy. I’m sure I still have it lying around somewhere. I don’t write in it anymore (actually, I think I filled it!), but I was reminded of it today as I was driving to work and feeling grateful. This blog seems like a good place to keep track of a few things in my life that I appreciate. Here are a few that were in my thoughts today.

Teachers have been popping up lately in many facets of my life – people who have been so generous with their time and their knowledge, and who continue to inspire me in countless ways. I am grateful for them.

I’ve recently gotten back in touch with a dear friend with whom I had lost touch for a few years. Learning about what he’s been doing with his life, and how he’s grown, and being able to reflect on the last few years of my own life as I share it with him is such a blessing. At the same time, some new friendships are blossoming right now, as well. I’m grateful for them.

I’m about to start rehearsals for several fun projects, including L’Incoronazione di Poppea (2 small roles) with the Seattle Early Music Guild, and my first Rosina with a school tour – if I can sing “Una voce poco fa” for a gym full of elementary school students every morning at 9:00 am, then I can take on Rosina or Angelina pretty much anywhere, I think.

I found a gorgeous, cinnamon-colored cashmere sweater in my size today on sale for $40! (It’s important to be grateful for the small things, too, isn’t it?)

That’s just a few, but I have a feeling I might write more entries like this one from time to time…. What are you grateful for?

...and, we're back!

2007-01-03T10:39:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year, everyone! As you can probably tell by the lack of blogging, the end of 2006 was a busy time for me. Hoffmann performances, 2 audition trips to New York, a Messiah, and a Magnificat, followed by the holidays, which of course are always hectic. They were made even more so this year by the aftermath of the huge windstorm that hit Seattle. We were only without power for 12 hours, but some people (including our neighborhood grocery store and Starbucks) were out for over a week. My parents had power after 3 days, but my mom came to stay for a few days because they did not have internet access, and she works from home. I did manage to get a little break, though, between Christmas and New Year's Eve. No singing, no swimming, no teaching. Just some much-needed quality time with husband, family, and friends.

A brief recap: everything went very well. I was blessed this year in New York to be able to rent my own apartment in the Village for a week. I did 6 auditions in NYC this season, and was happy with all of them. Though we can never go by feedback we get at auditions (every singer learns that it really doesn't mean anything), I definitely left most of my auditions this season feeling extremely positive about the experience in general. Luckily, I have a busy few months coming up, so I don't have much time to sit around and wait for responses! I was also happy with all the concerts, especially the Magnificat, which is one of my all-time favorite pieces. For these performances, the group only hired 4 soloists (the score calls for 2 sopranos, but often it's done with 4 people). Unfortunately, this meant that I didn't get to sing my favorite movement, the gorgeous "Suscepit Israel," which is a trio for the three female soloists. When there's no second soprano, that movement is usually done by the choir. However, no second soprano soloist meant that I got to sing the soprano II aria, which is lovely. The more soprano II solos I do in Bach, the more I feel like they suit my voice a little better than some of the alto solos do (not that I don't love singing the alto solos). Unfortunately, there really aren't all that many soprano II solos out there! For my holiday concerts this season, I tried out a new gown. For a while now, I've been on the lookout for a green gown. I find that the soprano often likes to wear red for Messiahs and such (as shown by acb's lovely Messiah gown). Fine by me -- green is a better color for me, anyway. Unfortunately, green gowns are not nearly so easy to come by as red ones! But, over the summer, I found the perfect one. Emerald green silk. I'll post a picture when I have one. I did find that I had a similar experience to acb (in the link above). I got at least as many compliments on the dress as I did on my singing!

For the first time in years, I didn't have any gigs over the actual holidays, which was lovely. I definitely needed the break. It did feel a bit odd, though, not to have to get dressed up on Christmas Eve to go and sing somewhere. The way the family gatherings worked out, actually, Alec and I both had the entirety of Christmas Eve completely free. We slept in, went out for brunch, opened our gifts to each other, did crosswords, and watched movies all day. We might have to make that a holiday tradition.

Looking ahead to 2007: One of the luxuries of having my own space in my favorite neighborhoods of NYC this year was that it allowed me lots of time to reflect on this past year and how far I've come. Sometimes, it seems that when we're making the most progress (both personally and professionally), things are happening so fast that we don't notice until we have some time to reflect on it. I've been so busy this fall because I've been singing constantly, and my spring looks just as busy. I've basically been a full-time working singer this season, which feels great. In the coming year, I need to take that scary step that many young singers face: taking fewer gigs in order to make space for better gigs. It's a leap of faith, trusting that there's more out there. But, I've found that the universe tends to reward the steps that we take in faith on our own behalf. 2007 promises to be an exciting year in many ways. Right now, though, I have music to learn. Vacation's over -- back to work!

ok, a real post soon, I promise...

2006-12-07T20:52:00.000-08:00

...but in the meantime, this is really funny. :)

because sometimes things happen like they're supposed to...

2006-11-19T14:27:00.000-08:00

...an update on camp...

I've been waiting for the Porters to make this public before I posted it here, but it doesn't get much more public than this article. When we're doing what we're supposed to be doing with our lives, for the right reasons, things have a way of working out for the best. In case anyone needed a reminder.

possibly my new favorite quote...

2006-11-18T19:22:00.000-08:00

...and one that I'm trying to implement in life...

"If 'A' = success in life, then A = x+y+z, where x = work, y = play, and z = keep your mouth shut." --- Albert Einstein

mental toughness

2006-11-16T12:40:00.000-08:00

Every Wednesday at swim practice is distance freestyle day. On other days, there is a balance of different strokes, drills, kicking, pulling, and a mix of distances with some rest in between. On distance freestyle day, the focus is on doing longer sets, in only freestyle (crawl stroke), with less rest. Last Wednesday, after we had already swum several sets, the coach came to our lane, and said, "Ok, next we're doing a 1000..." A 1000 is 40 laps without stopping. We had already swum about 3/4 mile at this point, so we were tired, but we set off. I started second, right after the lane leader, and began counting laps. About a third of the way through a little voice started inside. "You will never make it to the end of this set! You've only done 14 (15, 16, 18...) laps, and your arms feel like they're going to fall off. You should just stop and rest. But, at the end of each lap, when I was faced with the choice of doing a flip turn and continuing, or stopping and letting people pass me for a lap, another little voice would say, "ok, just one more." Eventually, we made it to the end. Or so I thought. It turned out that our lane leader had lost count, and did 4 extra laps at the end. But, I made it through those as well. When I saw her stopping in front of me, I thought, "Yay! I made it! Shower and latte, here I come!" But, alas, I looked up at the clock, and to my dismay, there were still 20 minutes left! Time for two or three more sets before the workout was over.

At this point I was reminded of a book that a boyfriend in college gave me. It was about mental toughness training for athletes, and he found it very applicable to his music (he played trumpet). And I realized that, in each moment in the pool that day, I was always capable of taking another stroke, swimming another lap, and once I put myself in that mindset, that annoying voice in my head quieted down (well, not entirely, but mostly), and I found that finishing the rest of the workout was easy (easier).

I honestly haven't thought a lot about mental toughness in performance since I stopped performing as a pianist. As a singer, I'm not often worried about coming in on the wrong note, forgetting a line (it's happened, believe me, but I don't worry about it the way I did when tackling a concerto or sonata), and as my technique has developed and strengthened, I don't often worry anymore about a high note at the end of a piece or a difficult run. However, I think we singers have to apply mental toughness in different ways. Remaining positive and optimistic in the face of the rejection and judgement that we subject ourselves to on a daily basis can seem hard sometimes. And walking in to the next audition, and the next, and the next, with confidence in what we have to offer as artists, certainly requires a great deal of mental toughness. As audition season gets in to full swing, I have been thinking about these things lately. I think I'm doing ok on the mental toughness scale, but there's always room for improvement, and if this is another thing that swimming will help me with (other than the 7 pounds I've lost already, or the great arm muscles I'm developping, or the improved breath control), then I say, "Yay, swimming!"

general check-in...

2006-11-08T10:58:00.000-08:00

Oops -- it's been a while! Lots of things going, as usual, though, so I thought a general post was in order.

Hoffmann rehearsals are going well, and I'm loving playing Nicklausse. It may be my favorite role to date. The dress rehearsal is two weeks from today -- lots of work still to do!

Last weekend, I sang in a concert of Bach cantatas with some of my favorite colleagues. An easy gig for me -- in 4 cantatas, I had a recit, a duet, and two trios. But, it was some beautiful music, and a possible new gig came out of it, which I'm very excited about. More on that later.

Audition times are starting to trickle in for my trip to NYC in December. I've rented an apartment in the Village for most of my time there this year, and I'm really excited to have my own space, with a kitchen and wireless internet access. Everything feels very settled for my auditions this year, which is a nice feeling. Several of the programs I've applied to this year are art song programs, so in addition to "my five," I'll get to sing quite a few songs this season. On my piano right now are two of my favorite cycles that I'm revisiting -- Mahler's Lieder eines fahrenden Gesellen and Ravel's Histoires Naturelles. I'm also looking through some english songs, and will make final decisions this week about what specific songs I'll take to New York with me.

Other things on the piano right now for upcoming concerts: Bach's Magnificat and my Messiah score ('tis the season, after all). Speaking of the season, it's time for my piano students to start their Christmas songs (their favorite time of year)! How did it get to be November already? Yikes!

well, I think I look at least 21...

2006-10-26T09:03:00.000-07:00

I was leaving my lessons yesterday, walking through the schoolyard, and a kindergartner stopped me:

boy: "Hey! Do you remember that time when you subbed for us in Miss L's music class?"

me: "Yes, I do."

boy: "Are you Willa's mom?"

me: "nope."

boy: "Well, who's mom are you?"

me: "I'm nobody's mom."

boy: "Oh, because you're just a teenager, right?"

me: (laughing) "No, I'm not a teenager."

boy: (confused) "Oh. Well, you look like a teenager!"

SWEET!!!

and so it begins...

2006-10-24T09:33:00.000-07:00

... audition season, that is. I was in San Francisco this weekend for my Merola audition. Going to San Francisco for auditions is always lovely, because I can visit with my oldest and dearest friend S, her husband M, and their lovely toddler Ty. My favorite quote for the weekend, when I came downstairs in my audition outfit:

Ty: "Auntie Meliss (actually, he can't say L's yet, so it comes out, "Auntie Meyiss").
Me: "Yes, Ty?"
Ty: "Auntie Meyiss, you're pretty!"
Me: "Thank you, Ty!"
Ty: "I'm charming!"

Tee hee! I arrived in San Jose (such an easy airport!) on Friday morning, and spent the day hanging out. My audition was Saturday around noon. I started with Nicklausse and they asked for some of the Handel, presumably to see if my voice could move (Dopo Notte is filled with lots of coloratura). After listening to about half of the A section, Sheri Greenawald said, "Thanks, that's exactly what we wanted to hear!" We chatted for a minute on the way out, and that was it. Easy! Later that evening, I called the auditions hotline to find my name on the list of finalists. Yay! So, I got to sing again on Sunday. At the finals, the audition panel chooses what they would like to hear, and the auditions last about 15 minutes instead of 5. They're doing La Cenerentola this summer, so I figured, especially since they wanted to hear coloratura the day before, that they would ask me to start with Non piu mesta, and I was right. As I walked in, they said, "Well, we figured we'd just get right down to it." We all laughed. Overall, I was really happy with it. The best part: even after just a week and a half of swimming, that phrase that I always worry about was no problem. I had lots of breath to spare. At the end, they asked for the Composer. Not an easy thing to sing after Rossini, as I'm sure they knew when asking me. It went fine. I had to use all my secret places in the piece to rest, breathe, swallow, and try to keep myself grounded. But I made it to the end. It was a little bit of a let down, to me anyway, after the Rossini, because in my warmup, Composer had felt really great, and in the audition, it felt like it was taking a lot of effort, but I think it was the best I could have sung it after Cenerentola. Then I sat down to talk with them for a few minutes. We chatted about repertoire they thought I should look at, and a little about my teacher, and then it was done! On to the next....

getting in shape

2006-10-15T19:00:00.000-07:00

"Non piu mesta", from La Cenerentola, is on my audition list for a few things this year. I feel great about it for the most part, but there's one phrase where I always worry about getting to the end breath-wise, and there's really no place to breathe in the middle of the crazy coloratura going on (mezzos, I'm sure you know the part I mean!). I always make it, but it causes a little bit of panic every time, and who needs that in the middle of an audition? This has given me the final incentive I needed to get in to better cardio-vascular shape this fall.

I used to have fantastic breath control. I was a flutist in high school and college, and I was also a swimmer, In fact I was captain of my high school swim team. I could swim, at one point, 2 lengths of the pool underwater without breathing. My breath control and lung capacity are still pretty good, but I definitely can't do that right now! So, last week I joined a US Masters swimteam at a pool close to my house. Workouts are 5 days a week from 7-8:00 a.m. Alec usually leaves for work at about 6:30, so the timing is perfect, and then I'm done earlier than I would usually even be awake enough to be doing anything other than drinking a cup of coffee.

I started on Wednesday, which was unfortunate in some ways because Wednesday, as it turns out, is distance freestyle day (which means longer sets without resting, and a total workout of between 1 1/2 and 2 miles). I was never a distance swimmer at the best of times (I have a strong kick, which makes me more of a sprinter), and let's just say that by the end of the workout I was tired!!!! But, I got some great reminders of why I love swimming. First, and this may sound weird to people who have never been swimmers, I smelled very faintly of chlorine for the rest of the day, and I really love that. It brings back lots of great memories. Secondly, walking out of the pool in the morning to a bright, sunny day, and smelling the fresh air knowing that I had challenged myself (and survived) felt fantastic. Thirdly, I am one of the younger people there. Lots of the women have children in high school, and they are all amazing, dedicated, and in great shape. One of them asked me how old I was and when I told her, she said, "Oh, you're just a baby!" I'll take it! But most importantly, in the pool, I had a moment where I had a glimpse of what it felt like to be really in shape. I felt a very physical sensation that reminded me of how amazing it feels to be really strong. So, even though the first workout kicked me right in the butt, I made it back for Thursday and Friday, and it got a little easier every time. I can't make it tomorrow morning, but Tuesday I intend to be back in the pool!

long time no blog!

2006-10-13T09:14:00.000-07:00

Lots has been going on, and there's plenty to write about. The side effect of this, of course, is that there's no time to write about any of it. Here's a little update.

A couple weeks ago I sang in the Sun Valley Opera competition (which, interestingly, takes place in Seattle). There were seven finalists from various places around the country. I am not at all sure that competitions are for me. They seem so contrived. I have a hard time putting an art form in a competitive format like that, and the idea of judging voices, particularly when there's no role or anything in question as a result, just seems a little weird to me. However, it's another opportunity to sing, and while I still fall within the age limit for most of them, I'm trying to give them a chance. This was a good way to start, as the competition took place in a church where I sang as a soloist for six years, and where I still teach piano lessons twice a week. I felt very at home. It was a particularly interesting competition in that the first round consisted of each of us singing an aria, and in the second round we were all required to sing a musical theater piece. Having started singing late, I never did any musical theater in high school or anything, so this was a totally foreign concept to me. I chose "Bill" from Showboat, because I've always loved that song, and hey, when am I ever going to have a chance to sing it, right? It was actually really fun. In the first round, I sang Nicklausse's aria Vois sous l'archet fremissant, which is my starter in most auditions nowadays. Apparently, the judges liked it -- I got third place! More importantly, I learned a couple of things. There's a universal truth of singing that we all know on some level, but which many of us (well, certainly me, anyway) seem to have to learn the hard way: sing what you sing best. period. I'm finally over feeling like I have to sing something that shows everything plus the kitchen sink in one (usually long and showy) piece. Nicklausse shows what my voice sounds like. Lots of great, rich middle with a nice high note at the end. The thing I took away from the competition is that I now feel totally comfortable starting with that piece in any situation. I have lots of showy coloratura (Rossini and Handel) on my list, and some more difficult pieces musically and range-wise (Meg from Little Women and Komponist), and they'll ask for what they want to hear. All told, a valuable competition experience. Who knows? I might do a few more.

In other news, I finished all my apprenticeship and young artist program applications yesterday and put them in the mail. It feels, even more than in past years, like a huge weight has been lifted. I got them all done in plenty of time, but being gone for the first half of September really screwed up my normal timeline, and I've felt totally panicked and stressed about getting them all done. Luckily, I recorded a good demo this summer, so that part (usually the most stressful for me) was easy this time. We'll see what happens. Probably due to the fact that I have such a busy schedule this year (and maybe because I continue to feel more and more comfortable with my voice), audition season seems like less of a big deal than usual. Just another job to do. I think that's a good sign.

In the last couple weeks, I've been doing something new singing-wise. Seattle has a large (and growing) recording industry, mostly for film soundtracks, trailers, and video games. Often these pieces involve not only an orchestra but a chorus as well, and I've been doing lots of sessions lately. It's been really fun. Generally the orchestra records during the day, and the chorus (of between 20 and 40 professional singers) records at night. The music is your typical action-movie stuff -- a lot of it sounds like Carmina Burana, complete with fake latin. :) It's good for the sight-reading skills, good money, and it's been good to see some old friends and meet some new colleagues. However, it's also long hours -- last week we had three nights in a row, two from 8:00-midnight, and one from 8:00-1:30 in the morning. Not good if you have anything to do the next day! I'm not complaining, though. The recording engineers were there from 9:00 a.m. all of those days! And, one of the singers in the choir is a morning news anchor for a local television station, and had to be at work at 4:00 a.m.! Sheesh!

We just started music rehearsals for Hoffmann, and I think it's going to be a good show. Performances aren't until Thanksgiving weekend, and we have 5 or 6 music rehearsals before staging starts -- a nice luxury, for sure! One disappointment -- my audition aria isn't in the version that we're doing. Oh, well. Such is life. :)

Finally, I was just offered a new gig for the spring -- singing Rosina in a school-tour adaptation of Barber of Seville. I'm excited about it. Rossini is something I hope to sing a lot more of in my career, and this seems like the perfect way to ease in to it. If I can sing "Una voce poco fa" (or whatever it will be in the English translation) three times a day, starting at 8:00 in the morning, then I think I'll feel comfortable singing Rosina or Angelina anywhere, any time. Actually, now that I've written it, it doesn't really sound like "easing in to it" at all, does it? More like throwing myself in to it!

So that's what I've been up to for the last couple weeks! The result of being so busy (well, that and the fact that I hate to clean) is that both the apartment and my car are a horrible mess at the moment, so I'm happy to have the day off to get organized. Happy weekend, everyone!

stickers

2006-09-26T06:53:00.000-07:00

My younger piano students (mostly girls, between the ages of 5 and 10) all receive a sticker at the end of each lesson. I keep a large assortment, and they use them to decorate their lesson books. I must say, this is not entirely selfless on my part -- I get at least as much amusement out of it as they do.

My first lesson on Mondays is with R, a 5-year old blond princess with one of those high, squeaky voices that only a 5-year old blond princess can have. Her parents are from South Africa, and though she has lived here most of her life, she still has a very strong (and adorable) South-African accent, probably due to the fact that she goes to a French-speaking school and doesn't watch much tv, so the only English she really hears on a regular basis is from her parents, who also have accents. In any case, she chooses her stickers in pairs, always with the following week in mind, and the pattern on the cover of her book is completely symmetrical in a way I didn't even know kindergartners were capable of. Two pink fairies in the top corners, two bumblebees in the bottom corners. A tropical fish dead center, and two sparkly butterflies evenly spaced on either side of him. She's very serious about choosing. For example, with the sparkly butterflies (one of which she chose yesterday), she carefully examined each one on the sheet to find one who's color and size closely matched the one she already had, then carefully placed it at a slight angle on the book to create a perfect mirror image.

Next I have E and T, two friends who both have their lessons at E's house every week. E is a year older and usually goes first. She is a very grown-up 3rd grader now, and has been taking lessons quite a bit longer than T, who just started 2nd grade. I often have to subtly and gently remind E that T doesn't need her extremely helpful hints and advice during her lesson. Both of the girls have sticker collections, so they take their stickers and save them to use in art projects or other books later on instead of putting them on their piano books. Not surprisingly, T watches carefully to see what sticker E has chosen and then often chooses the same kind. :)

I buy most of my stickers from the same drugstore, and lots of them are a brand called "Stickeroni," where each sheet has a "bonus" sticker on the bottom left hand corner of a piece of macaroni with arms and legs that somehow matches the theme of the stickers (on the butterfly stickers, the macaroni has a little butterfly net, and on the tropical fish, the macaroni has a scuba mask). A, who comes on Wednesdays, has almost exclusively these macaroni stickers on her book, and is always slightly disappointed if I'm out of them. If macaroni is not an option, she tends to choose small stickers (sea shells or little hearts or stars), which will decorate her book without detracting from her little macaroni family, which takes center stage.

K, my only boy right now, likes to put his stickers on the inside cover of his book, and goes in phases. First, he liked fish, then frogs, and lately he's very in to Sponge Bob Squarepants. Every week, he counts the stickers to see how many lessons he has had in this book, then counts the number of songs left to try to determine how many stickers he will have before he moves on to the next level.

O and S are second-graders and friends who come back to back on Thursdays. They like to spread out all the sheets on the piano bench, so as not to miss any great stickers that might be hiding. Then, they look at their books to see if there are any they don't have yet. Then, they pick the "cutest one." O's little sister, who is 4 and doesn't take piano (yet), often stands quietly nearby and watches, hoping to get a sticker, too. (she usually does -- I'm a softie, what can I say?)

T is the oldest of the bunch (10, and just starting 5th grade), and has been my student since she was 4, when I had just finished graduate school. Needless to say, I have a tender spot in my heart for her, having watched her grow up and progress over the years. She is getting more advanced now, and is no longer using method books, but instead has several books of piano literature and theory, which are decorated with well thought-out scenes. A frog is playing the piano while Spongebob sits on it, singing. A school of fish is swimming through the under-water picture on the front of her theory book, and a family of monkeys is tumbling around through the title of her piano book. Several butterflies are floating in a group, and two fairies are having a conversation over a cup of tea.

Oh, yeah, and occasionally we play the piano, too. :)

a good reminder

2006-09-18T20:00:00.000-07:00

I feel almost caught up with the things that piled up while I was away, and fall is in full swing. I started teaching my piano students last week, though this was the first day I saw my Monday students, as I didn't get home until last Monday evening. Most of my students are young beginners, between the ages of 5 and 8, and Mondays are no exception. I like working with the young ones. I seem to have a good rapport with them, and they, for the most part, are happy to be taking lessons and come excited to learn and excited about music, which is really the most important thing to me. However, my last lesson on Mondays this year is a high school student. She took lessons with me for about 6 months a couple of years ago, and now she's back.

Two years ago, she was thirteen years old, and had just moved to Seattle from a suburb where she had been living with her mom. I don't know any details, but I got the impression that the living situation was not ideal, and she and her brother had moved to the city to live with their dad, a single parent. She was starting high school a year early, and in a much more urban environment than she was used to. When I first met her, she was painfully shy, withdrawn, totally uncomfortable in her body, and seemed to be very unhappy. She would occasionally cry in her lessons, not because she was frustrated, but (I think) because music was giving her an outlet that she wasn't getting anywhere else. She loved to play all kinds of music, especially Chopin, and also played the cello. At the end of the school year, she stopped taking lessons, a combination of financial and time reasons, I think, but really wanted to keep playing, so I made her a bunch of photocopies of things that appealed to her from my collection and sent her on her way. I've often thought about her, wondering how she was doing.

About six weeks ago, she called me and wanted to schedule lessons for the fall. Her grandmother had paid for several months of lessons for her birthday. Our first lesson was today. I arrived at her house this afternoon, and the door flew open to reveal a lovely, happy, and confident young woman who was absolutely beaming at the prospect of a piano lesson. She was articulate and well-adjusted and seemed totally comfortable with herself. She had learned several pieces on her own, and was completely excited to get feedback on them and make them better. And, she had made a (long) list of pieces that she wants to learn. I have most of them at home and will bring them next time.

Even now, hours later, I am close to tears thinking about it. Every now and then I'm reminded that the healing and transformative powers of music go so far beyond what I can imagine, and that's why I teach and perform. A good thing to be reminded of at the start of a new year.

all done!

2006-09-11T20:42:00.000-07:00

I arrived home from Union this evening -- our final concert (a 9/11 memorial this afternoon) was a success and a great way to end the festival. I've been asked to come back for their Oktoberfest next month for some German lied recitals. It's exciting -- I love giving recitals, and try to do at least one or two a year. Usually, though, I have to put them on myself (finding musicians, choosing music, printing programs and program notes, making translations, finding a space -- it's fun, but quite a job!) and having someone else organizing (and paying me to sing!) will be a real treat.

I'm in that odd space that I often find myself in when coming back from a gig or audition trip. This festival, like many gigs, was an intense experience -- a beautiful setting, lots of great music-making, getting to know some fantastic new friends and colleagues and catching up with old ones. Even though I was only two hours away from home, I've felt a million miles away from "real life," and it's a bit disconcerting being back. Usually, I'm good about keeping up with things while I'm away, and it was my intention to be good about it this time as well. I was pretty successful for the first few days, but I must admit I got caught up in just being in such a lovely place surrounded by lovely people, and as the rehearsals and performances got in to full swing, things started piling up. As a result, I have lots of phone calls and emails to return, applications to finish, piles of music to learn (including some new German lieder -- exciting!), and a messy office to get organized. I'm sure that all this, along with some yoga and meditation, will help me feel grounded again. I find that I always come back from traveling feeling like things have been stirred up inside of me, and often this leads to great periods of introspection and growth as things settle back in new ways, enriched by new experiences. But for tonight anyway, I'll allow myself to relax in front of the tv and veg out a little.

Burton Music Camp

2006-09-07T16:59:00.000-07:00

Those of you who have been reading for a while know that I have spent many a July at camp. Alec and I are one of seven married couples who met working there, and it has meaningful in my life in so many ways. Before I went for the first time as a painfully shy 10-year-old camper, I felt like being involved in music at the level I was made me a freak. I had never been around other kids who practiced their instruments, or who wanted to be musicians or music teachers. I worked there from the ages of 17 to 29, and I each summer I saw shy kids who were probably seen as "geeks" in their regular lives making friends and being accepted by their peers, and coming out of their shells in so many wonderful ways. It has changed thousands of kids' lives for the better. I owe so much to my time spent there. In fact, when I was first thinking about trying singing, I was completely terrified of singing alone in front of people. Hiding behind a giant grand piano is completely different than standing alone, facing your audience head on. That summer, I was asked to teach a section of the choir at camp, which required me to sing in front of lots of people everyday. It stretched my boundaries, and by the end of the summer I had no trepidation about it at all. I started taking voice lessons shortly thereafter. Camp has been a constant through the years of my life that were the most filled with change and uncertainty.

Barbara and Neal Porter started Burton Music Camp 34 years ago, and everything about it was Neal's brainchild. His philosophy of a non-competitive, accepting musical atmosphere and individualized attention from trained music educators is unparalleled in any music camp I have seen elsewhere. For all 34 years, they have had an agreement with the same site. Last week, that site decided not to renew the Porters' contract to run music camp there. On Tuesday, I helped them move their music library, instruments, and other things off the site and in to their basement. I am grieving as surely as if I had lost a loved one, and I'm certainly not the only one. I am alternately furious and incredibly sad, and I've found myself bursting in to tears at the drop of a hat for the last few days. Perhaps the biggest slap in the face is that the site intends to run music camp, using the Porters' camp as a model, under the same name, without them. This is their legal right, as the Porters worked, technically, as employees of the camp, never filing for non-profit status of their own. However, it is heart-breaking, especially because nobody at the site knows the first thing about running a music camp. As for the Porters, they are looking for another site, which is a challenge to say the least, but I have to believe that what they have worked for is too special for it not to live on, and there is a perfect site out there somewhere for them. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers, and if you know of any great camps in Washington or Oregon, pass on the word!

concerts

2006-09-04T17:57:00.000-07:00

We've finished our first week in Union, and the festival continues to go well. One of my favorite parts of participating in music festivals as opposed to individual productions is the opportunity to go to lots of great concerts given by friends and colleagues. This particular festival has lots of creative programming, and this week I've heard pieces by Dominick Argento, John Cage, Lou Harrison, Henry Cowell, Alan Hovahness, and Lee Hoiby, among others, along with lots of Copland. Among my favorites this week has been the performances of two 1-person chamber operas. The first, Lee Hoiby's Bon Appetit! is written for mezzo-soprano and chamber orchestra, and is taken almost verbatim from an episode of Julia Child's tv show, where she's making a chocolate cake. It's hilarious, and definitely a role I'd love to do someday. It may be at least a couple of years before I'd make a believable Julia Child, though. The second, Dominick Argento's A Waterbird Talk, is based on a story by Anton Chekhov, and is written for solo baritone and chamber orchestra. A man is giving a talk on waterbirds in his living room, and over the course of the talk we gain insights in to his life, specifically his relationship with his verbally abusive wife. Baritone Robert Orth has been here performing, and I've so enjoyed getting to know him and watching him onstage. His performance is hysterically funny and completely heart-wrenching at the same time. He's totally captivating onstage, and it's wonderful to get to watch someone like that in such an intimate setting (the hall seats about 80 people). I feel like I'm learning a lot everytime I see him. The festival kicked off with a vocal recital by the two opera artists, and he delivered the funniest rendition of Copland's I Bought Me a Cat that I've ever seen. In addition, he's kept us entertained at meals all week (a read of his dark bio will give you some insight in to his sense of humor).

We get a few days off now until next weekend's concerts start, so I'm headed home to relax -- lots has been happening this week, both at the festival and in the rest of life, and I'm exhausted. A visit home to see my husband and kitty will definitely do me good. :)

open rehearsal

2006-08-30T16:53:00.000-07:00

The performances at the Baroque Opera workshop went very well -- I've been offered 3 gigs for next season as a result of my time there, so it was certainly a success in that department. :) I loved singing Dido and got lots of great compliments on my performance -- I hope to have the opportunity to sing the whole role sometime soon!

After a celebration with my colleagues on Sunday night, I went home to pack, and left for Union at 5:30 a.m. (yikes!) on Monday morning. Since then, we've been going full steam with rehearsals and final preparations for the concerts, which begin tonight (though my first performance isn't until Friday). Overall, I'm extremely impressed with how the festival is being run. The level of musicianship is extremely high all-around, and we're being very well taken care of. (I'll post pictures as soon as I have time to take some!)

Last night, the choir had a rehearsal for our final concert (a memorial concert on September 11th). The rehearsal was held at the local high school auditorium, and was open to the public. It was a brilliant idea on the part of the administrators. For the festival, it was great free publicity. There are 2 or 3 of these open rehearsals this week, and apparently ticket sales have gone through the roof as a result, which is fantastic. For the people who came, it was a chance to see the work in progress (we've hardly rehearsed this concert at all, so it was really still in progress!), and there was a question and answer period and a chance for a meet-and-greet afterward, which was lovely. In addition, each of the open rehearsals are benefitting a different non-profit in the community. Last night, Mason County Literacy was there, and they collected donations and had sign-up sheets for volunteers. So, it was great for the community as well. The community seems to be very involved in the festival -- in fact, 100% of the funding for the festival came from residents of Union and the surrounding area. Amazing.

When I have time to think about it, I have lots of applications to fill out for audition season this year, but I need a couple days to settle in to a routine here before I dig in. Now, off to dinner and tonight's concert....

changing gears

2006-08-23T14:20:00.000-07:00

This week has been a lesson for me in changing gears quickly, both in a larger sense (changing between opera and choral singing, and between music and the rest of life) and in the context of the workshop. I'm in three scenes this week, and they couldn't be more different. In Poppea, I'm playing two characters: Valetto and Nutrice. Valetto is a horny teenaged boy (think Cherubino). I'm singing a scene with the beautiful young Damigella, where I spend most of my time chasing her around the room. I've done the scene before, with the same partner, so putting it together was quick and easy, but we've had lots of help this week from our director Anna, who is a Baroque dance expert and choreographer, and the scene has really come to life. It ends with a beautiful duet, and the two of us being discovered in a compromising position and running from the room.

Nutrice is another story entirely. This is the role I will be playing in the full production of Poppea next February, so I was excited to get to work. The initial reaction from Stephen was that the role was too low for me, and he was right. The entirety of the role never goes above an a in the staff, and we're performing at A=415 this week (a full half-step lower than A=440, the modern accepted pitch). My scene happens with my queen, Ottavia, just after her gorgeous lament, "Disprezzata regina...". Stephen came up with a brilliant solution -- all of my lines have been transposed up a 5th, which puts the whole role in a great range for me and still works with Ottavia's part. This is one of the last scenes to be staged, and we had our first music and staging rehearsals on it today. After our initial run-through, Stephen asked if I would be willing to try it in more of a character voice. Of course I was willing to try, though I've never really done anything like that before, and I wasn't sure if I could. Apparently I can! I opened my mouth, and out came this nasal, cackling sound. Suddenly, the scene (which I had struggled a little with dramatically) made perfect sense to me, and judging by the reactions of the instrumentalists in the room, I think it was a success! The staging is equally fun, and I'm really looking forward to it.

In the third scene I play Dido, the widowed, mourning queen of Carthage. I'm falling in love with Aeneas, a handsome Trojan prince, much to the delight of of my friend and confidante Belinda and my ladies in waiting. I'm resisting my own feelings, out of grief and fidelity for my dead husband. A gorgeous lament, and I've been having so much fun playing her this week.

Whew! I'm exhausted just writing about it. I have this afternoon and evening off, so I'm off to take a quick nap, do a little editing work, and spend the evening with my husband and a few friends. Tomorrow, it's back to final rehearsals before the performances this weekend, and then off to Union for two weeks of choral concerts. It will feel like a vacation, I think, after this week!

text

2006-08-20T12:40:00.000-07:00

One of the big reasons I was attracted to singing as opposed to my previous instrumental pursuits is the presence of text. The study of libretti, poetry, and languages is something I'm passionate about. This week, with my days being filled with Baroque opera scenes and my evenings with American choral music, text is at the forefront of my mind. Text and language is central to Baroque opera in a way which is obscured as the art form developed more in to the aria-centric form of the 19th century. Not that it's not important in Puccini or Bizet or Strauss, but the purity of it's importance is much more evident in Monteverdi or Purcell, and (for me at least) coming back to this kind of music is a great reminder of this, and something I take with me as I journey back in to later operas (like the Offenbach I'll be spending a lot of time on this fall).

I feel so lucky to be working again this week with Stephen Stubbs, who is completely brilliant at seeing the unification of music and text, and how they highlight each other, each raising the other to a new level. Truly a master teacher and musician.

Interesting things are happening this year. I've already been offered a gig for next spring -- a role in Caccini's Ruggiero with the Northwest Puppet Center (acb recently talked about how fun this was -- I'm really excited to be involved!) Also, my role in Poppea might be changing somewhat, but more on that as details are solidified....

what, you mean people are reading this thing?

2006-08-20T12:33:00.000-07:00

The Accademia started a couple days ago, and we're now in full swing of lectures and rehearsals. On the first day, three separate people (one of whom I knew from last year, two of whom I had never met) and said, "I read your blog!" It's such a strange experience. I know that people are reading, as my counter ticks a little higher every day and occasionally you leave comments, but to meet other people "in the business" who already know me through this blog is bizarre -- and fun! :)

this is why it's the best coffee table book ever...

2006-08-16T10:53:00.000-07:00

a couple of quotes from Harry Partch...
at no time are the players of my instruments to be unaware that they are onstage, in the act. There can be no humdrum playing of notes, in the bored belief that because they are "good" musicians their performance is ipso facto "masterly." When a player fails to take full advantage of his role in a visual or acting sense, he is muffing his part - in my terms - as thoroughly as if he bungled
every note in the score.
To John Cage: I believe in many things: in an intonation as just as I am capable of making it, in musical instruments on stage, dynamic in form, visually exciting. I believe in dramatic lighting, replete with gels, to enhance them; in musicians who are total constituents of the moment, irreplaceable, who may sing, shout, whistle, stamp their feet; in players who are in costume, perhaps half-naked, or with fantastic headpieces, but certainly in some visual form that will remove them from the limbo of the pedestrian.

Glenn Gould

2006-08-15T21:11:00.000-07:00

Alec and I celebrated our third anniversary last week. To celebrate, we took a weekend away this weekend. Saturday, we went to Port Townsend to visit my brother- and sister-in-law (and neice and nephew, of course), and spend some money in the beautiful new location of their record store. Among many other things, we bought what is possibly the best coffe table book ever, and a cd set of Glenn Gould playing Bach's Goldberg Variations (one recording from 1955, and one from 1981). I've been spending quite a bit of time listening this week -- two completely different interpretations, but I find what I'm taking away from it is how beneficial it is to listen to now as a singer as well as a pianist. The lyrical qualities of his playing (much more than his singing in the background!) are so astonishingly beautiful. I'll be listening as I'm working or washing the dishes, and suddenly I'll be totally absorbed in the beauty of a single phrase, and think, "Aha! That's how I should shape that phrase in the Agnus Dei of the B Minor Mass, or the opening of Es ist vollbracht!" His runs are almost impossibly fast, but I've learned things there, as well. In the 1955 version, they're totally, almost mechanically, even in tempo and tone, which is amazing to listen to (and sometimes makes me giggle!). In the 1981 version, while they're equally fast, and sometimes even a little faster, there's something a little more human about them -- a softer attack, a subtle shaping of the phrase. I don't mean to say that they were any less technically perfect, but there was something a little more approachable about them. Gorgeous!

Oh! The rest of the weekend! On Saturday night, I was surprised by a night in a fancy hotel in downtown Seattle, and an evening at Jazz Alley to see Ahmad Jamal, followed by brunch and Pike Place Market on Sunday morning. Aaaahhhhh..... :)

sight-singing

2006-08-15T20:48:00.000-07:00

As I sat through my fourth rehearsal so far this week for my upcoming choral gig, a few thoughts ran through my head. First, singing choral music is good for my soul. There's something so fulfilling about communal music-making, and this is an exceptionally good group of choral singers, which makes it even more satisfying. Secondly, choral singing is good for my sight-singing skills! I'm a good sight reader. I make part of my living by teaching sight-singing. In fact, in most musical situations I've been in in my life, I'm one of the better sight readers in the room. My piano teacher in grad school always said that the best way to become a better reader is to play duets with someone who reads as well or slightly better than you, and I believe the same is true about singing. This group reads complicated music the first time through without (or with very little) help from the piano, with dynamics, phrasing, and all the other markings in the score. I'm keeping up, but it's definitely keeping me on my toes, which is really exciting. I'm finding that three-hour rehearsals fly by. It helps, as well, that we're singing great music. My favorite, so far, is Samuel Barber's Reincarnations, three gorgeous a cappella pieces on Irish poetry. Completely sumptuous!

Now, I have a couple days off from rehearsals to learn the opening scene from Dido and Aeneas and a scene from Poppea for the Baroque Opera workshop next week. Fun!

Rosenkavalier

2006-08-03T20:48:00.000-07:00

I went to the dress rehearsal of Rosenkavalier at Seattle Opera last night. I have to say, this might be my favorite Seattle Opera production of all time. Carol Vaness' performance as the Marschallin was truly unforgettable -- so powerful and human. And Alice Coote was completely fabulous as Octavian. Occasionally, a performance will touch me so deeply that it stays with me long after the curtain closes. I feel like I've been walking around in a daze all day. :) If you're in town, don't miss it!

recording

2006-08-01T18:52:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the long silence! Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been working on a demo recording. For the first time, I hired a recording engineer and found a great space, and took a couple of days to record, and a few more to listen and work with the engineer to do some (very minor) edits. Up until now, I’ve headed to a local church with my mini-disc recorder every time I needed an aria or two for an application or audition. Partly, this is because my voice has been changing so rapidly that I have been reluctant to make anything too permanent, and partly it’s been the fact that I really don’t love listening to myself on recording, and I knew the amount of listening that would go in to getting a result I was happy with. Now, I feel like my voice is settling a little, and I wanted to have 7 or 8 tracks that I could mix and match for different purposes. I’m really happy with the results, and it’s a relief to know I won’t have to spend a lot of time recording for a year or so.

I decided on four arias – Nicklausse’s violin aria from Hoffmann, der Komponist, “Dopo Notte” from Handel’s Ariodante, and “Things Change, Jo” from Little Women. No Mozart, I know. Right now, it’s just not what feels best for me, and Handel is a good substitute for most purposes. For orchestral/oratorio stuff, I have a good recording of the B Minor Mass I did in June, and I recorded “Es ist vollbracht” from the St. John Passion and one of the Wesendoncklieder. I also recorded a few art songs, including one from Ravel’s Histoires Naturelles and one from Britten’s A Charm of Lullabies. It’s enough variety to cover everything I want to apply to this year, and a good mix of things to send to conductors. My grandparents will enjoy it, as well…. :) I’ve already sent out copies in various forms for a few competitions and a possible gig next season – I’ll keep everyone posted as details arise.

The next step is to figure out how to post some samples on my website – I’m working on it, and I’ll post a link here when I have it all done. I have plenty to keep me busy in the meantime, though – 4 full concerts of American choral pieces to learn in the next week, as well as the Dido scenes for the Baroque opera workshop and Nicklausse.

a breakthrough!

2006-07-16T12:38:00.000-07:00

The most common comment I get at auditions, particularly since I've been studying with my new teacher, is "Wow, you have such an easy top!" While I would agree that my top is now blended with the rest of my voice, and very consistent, it has never felt what I would consider to be "easy." Particularly in the range of A-flat, A, and B-flat, the notes before my very top notes (which are easy, though people rarely get to hear them), things have always felt somewhat tenuous. I'm glad that they haven't been sounding that way, but I've always known that they could be better.

I had my first lesson in about 5 weeks on Tuesday. J has been out of town singing some fabulous concerts. The timing was good, as I'm getting ready to do some recording next week, and some of the slightly heavier rep we've been playing with still wasn't feeling great. I've recently pulled out Komponist for the first time in about a year. I had put it away, thinking it was just too heavy, but J thought it should go back on my list, so I've been working on it again. It's a short role -- only about half an hour or so at the beginning of the opera, but he's pretty chatty in that half hour, and the aria comes right at the end of his part. The last page and a half sits right in those notes I've been worried about, with a few B-flats (including a big one at the end), and a huge, sustained A-flat and A which come in rapid succession. I've tried lots of different tricks on those notes, and somehow I always felt tired at the end, and they weren't all I hoped they would be. On Tuesday, as we were working through the last section, J said, "drop your jaw a little there." Not earth-shattering advice, I know, and certainly, dropping my jaw was something I had tried before. But somehow, in combination with the other things we’ve been working on, something clicked. I sang the final B-flat and burst out laughing. It was clear, full, had lots of vibrato, and EASY!!! Once I sang through the whole aria with these new pointers in mind, I found that it was no problem to get all the way through, even though I had been singing for over an hour straight and my voice was starting to get a little tired. J was laughing too. “So, you mean, something like that?” I asked. Since then, none of those notes have been a problem, and now I feel like they’ve been sufficiently ingrained in my muscle memory to be consistently there. How exciting!

In other news, I’ve gotten my Baroque Opera assignments, which include Dido in a couple scenes from Dido and Aeneas. I can’t wait to dig in, but it will probably wait until after my recording sessions this week.

coming home to something new...

2006-07-09T22:18:00.000-07:00

I got a call yesterday for a great gig. I’ll be singing in a 16-voice, professional chamber choir at the Annas Bay Music Festival, which takes place in Union, Washington. It’s new this year, and I’m not sure where the funding is coming from, but it must be coming from somewhere, because the pay is fantastic, and we, along with the chamber orchestra, will be staying and eating here. It seems as though we will be extremely well pampered! I haven’t done any choral singing for about 3 years now, and I feel like I’m coming home, in a way. Singing in small groups like this one was where I first fell in love with singing, and where I first knew that this was what I wanted to do. While everyone involved has worked extensively as a soloist, there’s something about working together in a small group that’s extremely appealing. Blending together, becoming in tune with one another in terms of dynamics and breathing, and making music as a unified body is extremely satisfying and challenging, in a different way than singing in front of a group or in a costume onstage. I have several friends and colleagues who will be involved, so it should be a great experience personally and musically!

hidden talents

2006-06-30T23:28:00.000-07:00

Well, I returned from Wisconsin last week and jumped right in to final rehearsals for a show. A friend and colleague, JW, has started a new opera company here in Seattle, and tonight was the first performance of a great double bill of Menotti operas: the haunting, disturbing The Medium, and the silly, hilarious Amelia goes to the Ball. I had two small roles, singing the 2nd chambermaid in Amelia and covering Mrs. Nolan in The Medium, so I've had lots of time to sit and observe in rehearsals. J has found his calling, I think. He has a real knack for all the tasks of putting together a cast and production, things that many other people (myself included) would find intimidating, tedious, or overwhelming. He has a fantastic knowledge of repertoire and voices, and chose great pieces and a great cast. He took care of so many little details, and managed to get almost a full house tonight, no small feat for a couple of fairly dissonant, twentieth century operas on a gorgeous Seattle summer evening. He also hired a stage director with lots of acting experience, who has never directed before, and took on the job with great aplomb, and has done an absolutely fantastic job. It was no easy task for one person to simultaneously stage two such completely different pieces, and his ideas have facilitated some powerful, moving, witty, and hilarious performances.

Amelia culminates with the heroine whacking her husband in the head with a vase designed, of course, to shatter impressively onstage. Tonight, someone accidentally hit it and it broke all over the table. The director didn't miss a beat. In an instant he was backstage with tomorrow night's vase and some flowers that had been given to the stage manager before the show, cutting them to the right length and arranging them deftly in to a lovely display. Then, he grabbed the other chambermaid, and the two of them waited by the entrance for the perfect musical moment (he knows, apparently, the entire score by heart), at which point he sent her scurrying on to clean up the mess and freshen the flowers. That's the kind of person I want around in an emergency!

There's another performance on Saturday, for those of you in Seattle -- check it out if you're around!

on vacation...

2006-06-16T22:04:00.000-07:00

I'm currently in Wisconsin, with my family, visiting my grandparents and other relatives for Father's Day. I don't get out here nearly as often as I'd like, and I'm filled with wonder at rediscovering the blessings and challenges of traveling with my family and of large and extended clans like ours. (My mom has 10 siblings and my dad has two, all married with children, and some of those with children of their own already. Almost all of them live in Wisconsin.) I'll be back on Tuesday and will post more then, but I will say that I've had time in the last few days to highlight my Hoffmann score (for a Nicklausse I'll be doing in the fall), schedule a couple auditions, and buy two of the most gorgeous gowns I've ever tried on. At 40% off, no less! More later -- Happy Father's Day, everybody!

I heart Bach

2006-06-12T08:30:00.000-07:00

On Saturday night, I sang in my first B Minor Mass. I’ve been absolutely awestruck, in the last couple of weeks as I’ve prepared for this performance, by the beauty of this music and how grateful I feel to be a part of it. I sang both the alto and second soprano solos, which is apparently done a lot, since they’re basically in the same range and don’t ever sing at the same time. This makes me a busy girl during the Mass – 3 arias and 2 duets. Certainly more than the alto usually has to do in an oratorio performance! Among them are some of the most gorgeous pieces I’ve ever had the privilege to sing, and I was honored to have the opportunity to perform them. The concert, to top it all off, was in a stunningly beautiful church, built at the turn of the century with amazing exposed brick and wood work. A perfect setting.

I recently began attending classes at a new yoga studio. In one of my classes this week, the teacher had us bring in journals and encouraged us to stop at any time and write down our thoughts. As we were flowing through asanas, she would read passages to inspire us. The focus of that day was finding the truth within us, what we wanted, or were meant, to do with our lives, at our core. And she read some very inspiring passages from various spiritual leaders and philosophers. But what spoke to me most happened while she wasn’t reading. There was some music playing quietly in the studio, and when she wasn’t speaking to us, she was quietly (and probably sub-consciously) singing along. It was so obvious that singing was totally natural to her – and while she sang, her whole body seemed to light up. It was a powerful reminder to me of why I do what I do – I sing because that’s who I am. I’ve had piles of music to learn in the past few months, and with my schedule being what it was, lots of it had to be learned quickly and often at the last minute. It all got learned, but it has at times felt like a bit of a chore. Singing in the B Minor Mass was great because I knew most of the pieces already, so singing them as part of the context of the whole work was like coming full circle.

Even though I was relatively busy during the performance, I still had lots of time to just sit in front of the orchestra and listen. In the second half of the work, I had a duet close to the beginning, and then the Agnus Dei, at the very end of the entire piece. I gave myself time to be aware of my body, mind, and spirit, and to offer gratitude for my voice and the opportunity to work with other great musicians, performing this amazing music. In retrospect, it raised the evening for me from a great performance to an overall wonderful and powerful experience. Definitely something I want to try to keep in mind as I move on to the next performance!

some thoughts on art and education

2006-06-09T16:12:00.000-07:00

It’s the end of the school year. Somehow, though I’m happy to have free time again, and to be able to sleep in a little, I am not feeling the giddiness I expected to feel. I have mixed feelings about it – I will miss the kids terribly, I will miss the staff, I will miss the daily opportunities to teach and learn that presented themselves to me in the classroom and out.

Today were the end-of-year faculty meetings, and the atmosphere, at least in the fine/performing arts department, were a little tense, as all departments had received a mandate to provide data demonstrating the success of their program, including test scores, grades, and (the real kicker) the percentage of kids who go on to major in the fields related to the department. This made everyone immediately defensive. First, fine and performing arts do not lend themselves well to this kind of data – there are no exams to speak of, nor do the teachers want to create an environment of competition and judgement among the students. While there have been several students in the last few years who went on to major in the arts or related fields, none of us felt this was a valid way of evaluating the success of the program, nor did we feel that a small number in that category diminished the validity or importance of the program. I did not participate in the music program at my high school in my senior year because I wanted to take Physics and French IV. I excelled in math and science and was a national merit scholar, and an academic decathlon state champion and captain of the swim team, and many fellow musicians I know have similar academic records. I am lucky in my life to know many people who excel in the fields of math and science, and I have to say that the ones who are most successful are people who are also successful at music and/or visual arts and/or languages and/or writing. One of the most gifted medical students I know, one of two recipients of a highly competitive full scholarship to one of the nation’s top institutions, came to the program after completing a master’s degree in tuba performance from one of the country’s top music programs. I edit math text books with gifted mathematicians who also speak four languages, or are involved in other more “artistic” pursuits. Going further, I happened to sit next to Bill Gates at a play a couple seasons ago, and noticed him enjoying it whole-heartedly. Paul Allen opened a museum dedicated to the history of rock and roll here in Seattle, where he’s currently displaying his art collection, which could easily be displayed at the finest museums in the world. There are working opera singers with degrees in engineering, and I was at an opera workshop last summer where one of the participants was a family medicine practitioner. When will people see that educating and nourishing the whole person does not come at the cost of excellence in math and science and SAT scores, but rather that a holistic approach to education enhances all these things and creates a society where people end up in careers that fulfill them, whether that be working in a biology lab or being an accountant, or playing in a symphony orchestra or working as a stage manager? And beyond that, it creates a society where people value other people because they understand things beyond their own field, and appreciate the importance of art, and music, and engineering, and scientific research, in their communities.

The arts department at this school is really quite amazing for a school its size (450 kids spread out from grades 5-12). The drama productions are outstanding, the music groups provide terrific opportunities for kids, and the visual art I’ve seen blows my mind. In the end, my recommendation was that, instead of providing a sheet of paper with data, the arts department might be better served providing a cd-rom with clips of plays and musicals, recordings from concerts, and photos of artwork. And it would provide a format, if they chose, to also include the data that does exist, that kids involved in arts programs tend to be the most academically high-achieving, and have the highest test scores, and are more attractive to colleges because of their well-rounded interests. Just a thought.

I...

2006-05-23T08:46:00.000-07:00

Thanks for the tag, acb, for my 100th post on this blog.

I am counting down the days, and practically the hours now, until the end of the school year, and looking forward to a summer with time for exercise, practice, meditation, and all the other things I’ve been sorely missing for the last few months.

I am not looking forward to tackling the gigantic mess that is my apartment at the moment.

I want to know that I have done my absolute best in anything I have attempted.

I wish that I were always present enough to appreciate every moment.

I hate being stuck in traffic so horrible that it takes an hour and a quarter to travel a distance that should take 10 minutes, particularly when I have a middle school choir concert to conduct on the other side!

I love Seattle when the weather is starting to turn summery. Every time I step outside I am awestruck by the absolute beauty of this city and region.

I miss, sometimes, the time when I was just starting singing, when auditions were things I did for the experience of doing them, and I never worried about whether or not I would get a gig. What a great attitude to have in this business.

I fear becoming jaded in some way and losing the joy I get from singing along this crazy, winding path.

I hear the whir of the fan and the hum of the computer in my classroom -- blissful silence before the next class of the day.

I wonder what my voice will sound like next week, next month, next year, as I’m making strides technically and musically.

I regret letting friendships slip away when distance or life interferes and makes things complicated.

I dance more rarely now than I’d like. Another way to use my time this summer.

I sing in my car on the way to work, lately to this album, and this one, oh, and this one and this one.

I cry with joy to see children making music or putting their absolute all in to anything, and almost always at movies. Especially this one.

I am not always (or ever) good at keeping my car clean, inside or out, particularly when I practically live in it as I have lately.

I make with my hands a kick-ass apple pie, and various knitting projects, when I have time. Wow, all that extra time this summer is filling up fast!

I write to clarify my thoughts, to understand myself better by taking a step back from situations, and to keep my grandma informed about what’s going on in my life. :)

I confuse Andy Garcia with Nicholas Cage, and Robert DeNiro with Dustin Hoffman. Don’t ask me why.

I need to learn the alto and soprano II solos in Bach’s B Minor Mass very quickly for a gig that recently came up.

I should compile a list of music to be working on this summer (after the B Minor Mass, of course), and get organized for an upcoming demo recording.

I started a diet 12 days ago. 7 pounds down, 23 to go. Ugh.

I finish almost every book I start, though I haven’t had time to start many lately.

I tag Gia-Gina.

the world according to a 6-year old

2006-05-11T09:22:00.000-07:00

One of my first-grade piano students came in to her lesson after my recital a couple weeks ago. I still had my dress on -- plain black, knee-length, with nude hose and black pumps.

Student: You're dressed all fancy today.
Me: Thank you. I had a recital this afternoon.
Student: And you're wearing make-up, which you almost never do.
Me: That's true.
Student: My mommy wears make-up every day.
Me: Yes, lots of women like to wear it everyday.
Student: She won't leave the house without it on. And she's always touching up her lipgloss and stuff. I think it's kinda weird.

happiness....

2006-05-11T08:49:00.000-07:00

...or, "why I shouldn't read that online forum."

As I was driving home from school a few days ago, I was listening to NPR. The were playing an interview with Daniel Gilbert, Harvard professor and author of this book. In it, he hypothesizes that we tend to overestimate the effects of both the happiest and least happy moments of our lives. Brides often can't recall many details about their wedding days a few months later, winning the lottery brings lots of responsibility and stress when one really starts thinking about what to do with her money, breaking up with that boyfriend turned out to be better for you than you realized at first, etc. He also says that we minimize the positive effects of happy events when we expect them or have explanations for them happening. For example, one who had a good audition for a company and then read an online forum everyday where second- or third-hand rumors were flying about from people hearing or waiting to hear from said company, might minimize his or her happiness when and if s/he were offered a role with that company. Conversely, reading about other people receiving rejections and then receiving one him/herself would not necessarily minimize the disappointment. Since there are no substantiated stories of anyone hearing about casting, one would be well advised to stop reading said online forum and put it out of his/her mind....

...hypothetically, of course.... :)

ghosts

2006-05-08T12:31:00.000-07:00

I always feel nostalgic in late spring. I’m not sure why. It probably has to do with the fact that, up until now, many of the major events in my life have happened in spring and summer – graduation from schools, international travel, my wedding, deciding that I wanted to sing, recitals, summer programs, moving to new places or moving home from them…. In any case, at this time of year, I often feel a need to reconnect with people from my past, ghosts whom I carry with me on this path.

It amazes me how easily that is often done in this day and age of technology. Anyone wanting to get in touch with me could do so within 20 seconds online. In fact, one friend from the past did just that last week, via this blog. Apparently I’m not the only one feeling a little nostalgic lately! I’m lucky this year – I’ll be visiting a few places from my past in the next month or so. This has inspired me. In the past week I’ve heard from 6 different “ghosts.” Some I haven’t seen or talked to in a few months or a few years. With one, it’s been a decade since we’ve been in touch. Nearly all of them I will see in the next couple of months. It’s so exciting to reconnect with people. For a little while, at least, these ghosts will become people to me again, and we will get to know each other, as these new versions of ourselves, musicians and artists, that we have become over the last few years. It is these connections with others that nourish and renew us, isn’t it? It’s a big part of why we’re here.

swimming through

2006-04-28T13:55:00.000-07:00

There hasn't been much time to post this week, but lots to post about. 3 auditions, a recital, 3 concerts this weekend, and a great master class.... Lots of wonderful things are happening. Unfortunately, I'm too busy and stressed to really enjoy any of them. I feel like I'm swimming through molasses -- struggling as hard as I can just to get to the next thing, and there are so many things stacked up that there's no end in sight. But, I have a little break right now, and I'm hoping that the simple act of writing about them will help to clear my head, which feels crammed full at the moment.

In addition to the audition for the scholarship I was awarded last week, I also had auditions for 2 local companies over the weekend. Both went well. The first is doing a new opera over the summer. It seems like an interesting project -- the composer was present at the auditions and is flying out for the final week of rehearsals and writing a new chamber orchestration for the occasion. I was happy with the audition, and the committee really seemed to like what I did, but I'm fairly certain I won't be offered anything (i.e. I haven't heard anything yet, but know of some people who have received offers). The second was for Tacoma Opera, one of the larger small companies in the area. They still have one weekend of auditions left, so I know I won't be hearing anything for a while, but they do have a wonderful season for mezzos coming up -- Carmen and Beatrice and Benedict (Berlioz). I sang something from each at the audition, and both went well, though I think Berlioz is a little better fit for me, both physically and vocally. In any case, there are two mezzo roles (one big and one smaller) in each of the 2 operas, so I'm hopeful that something will work out. In the meantime, I hardly have time to think about it, which is probably a good thing.

Yesterday was the recital I mentioned in a previous post, for which I was preparing the Wesendoncklieder and Chansons de Bilitis. It went well, and was very well received. However, I didn't have time to prepare nearly as thoroughly as I would have liked. I used music, which was fine for the event in question (it was very casual), but I hate using music. Anything that interferes with direct communication of the music is extremely distracting to me, and a music stand between me and the audience, especially one that I need to look at while I'm singing, certainly interferes! I considered making some program changes and replacing the cycles with ones I've performed before, but in the end I decided that it would be better to just get these two cycles learned. I can always perform them again. And I will definitely do that -- I'm in love with both of those cycles! The Wagner are so lush and gorgeous, and the Debussy are so sensual and charming. I'm hoping to find some time in the fall for a full recital, but more on that later.

Meanwhile, the teaching year is reaching it's most hectic point, at least for performing arts teachers. My high school choirs have their concert tonight, and I haven't been so nervous for anything in years. The kids are prepared and I'm sure it will go fine, but conducting a concert of kids is totally out of my comfort zone. I know it's good for me, and I'm glad I'm doing it, but I'll breathe a sigh of relief tonight when it's over (and perhaps a celebratory martini will be in order, as well). The showcase class that I team-teach has their performance on Monday, but that's much less stressful for me -- I just have to sit behind the piano.

Speaking of sitting behind a piano, I'll be doing that at another concert this weekend -- I'm playing some orchestral piano parts in a local orchestra concert. The conductor is a friend and colleague, and he calls me whenever parts come up. I love it -- playing piano as part of an orchestra is a totally different experience than accompanying a singer or playing a sonata, or even playing chamber music. I love sitting in the middle of a large group of musicians, counting measures of rests, hearing the parts play off one another. It's another thing to do, but this one is a refreshing change.

Through everything this week, the recent tragedy at my alma mater has been constantly with me. I didn't know any of the five talented young singers (I graduated well before their time), but just knowing the school, the halls they walked down, the groups they sang with, the professors, the practice rooms, has made them feel close for some reason. It has affected me in ways I never would have imagined. My heart goes out to their families, friends, and the school that was their temporary home.

affirmation...

2006-04-21T08:45:00.000-07:00

It's always nice to get little affirmations that we are headed in the right direction -- a compliment from a respected colleague, being offered a gig, touching someone at a performance. These things are important in all walks of life, of course, but particularly in the arts, where we are putting so much of ourselves in to our work, it's nice to know that people are appreciating it. On Wednesday I was awarded 1st place in a small scholarship competition here in Seattle. There weren't that many contestants, and the prize money is not huge (though it will pay for a few months worth of lessons, which is wonderful), but it's lovely to know that someone wants to help support me on my path, and that people can hear growth in what I'm doing. So thanks to them!

...and back to the grindstone

2006-04-17T09:58:00.000-07:00

Well, vacation, lovely as it was, is over, and I'm back to work. 8 weeks of school left! (but who's counting, right?) It will be a busy next few weeks, with 2 choir concerts and a showcase (mixture of dramatic readings, musical numbers, and dance -- the culmination of the showcase class that I'm team teaching). But, after that, it's all down hill to the end of the year.

Cenerentola is in the books. It was a hectic pace to get it together (in fact, opening night was our first full run, which is always a little disconcerting), but in the end it was a great show, and everyone seemed to enjoy it. Now, I'm excited to get to work on the pile of music on my piano:

Wagner's Wesendonck Lieder -- I'm studying with a renowned Wagnerian singer, and these lie well for me (possibly the only Wagner I'll ever sing, but who knows?), so it seemed like a natural fit. I'll be performing them at a little recital coming up -- good incentive to get them learned quickly!
Debussy's Chansons de Bilitis -- I've been wanting to learn these for years, and the aforementioned recital provided a great opportunity.
Mahler's Das Lied von der Erde -- mostly just to learn them, but they might be useful for an upcoming audition.
Berlioz: Beatrice and Benedict -- a local company is doing this in the fall, so I'm looking at Beatrice's big aria in the second act. It's quite a sing! But, I'm having fun learning it.
Several arias to be dusted off for upcoming auditions, including the mother's aria from Amahl and the Night Visitors.

Wow, my plate is full! I'm thrilled to be working on so many art songs. I haven't done a lot of that lately and I really miss it. I passionately love opera, but I think recitals are really where I feel most at home. Probably my piano background is the reason for this. I love the more intimate feel of recitals, of feeling like I'm communicating directly with the audience, with no stage make-up or costumes disguising me. It's just a small recital coming up, but I can't wait.

cleo

2006-04-15T12:53:00.000-07:00

Cleo is my adorable cat. She will sleep on my lap for hours on end, so relaxed that I can scoot out from under her to grab lunch or go to the bathroom, and she won’t be even the least bit disturbed by it. She hates my singing. It seems to be the only thing in her charmed little life that causes her even the least bit of stress. It doesn’t bother her when other people sing – students, recordings, whatever – she’ll just ignore them and go back to sleep. But should I so much as open my mouth to sing a note, it sends her in to a frenzy. It doesn’t matter, actually, whether it’s me singing live or a recording of my voice. Either way, she hates it.

Actually, I think she might think that the strange sounds emitting from my mouth are a cry for help or some alien being inhabiting my body. If I leave the door to my office open, she will come racing in with this panicked look in her eyes. If I’m sitting at the piano, which I often am, she will hop up in to my lap, sit up, and put a paw over my lips, as if to say, “Stop that, for the love of God!” When that fails, or if I happen to be standing and singing, she will slowly circle my body before deciding that the best way to deal with the situation is to attack my feet. Now, Cleo is not a vicious cat. Her idea of attacking something is to nibble lightly at it. Still, she’s incredibly persistent. Needless to say, I mostly practice now with the office door closed. She meows outside for about 10 minutes and then heads back to the living room to lounge in the sunlight streaming through the window. Rough life.

some thoughts on auditions and competition...

2006-04-14T15:58:00.000-07:00

Seattle has been a great place to start out as a singer. There are, for the size of the town, many opportunities for young singers here, and I’ve been able to work more steadily than many of my friends from graduate school who have multiple degrees in voice. Granted, many (not all, but many) of these gigs pay little or nothing, but it’s been a good place to build up my resume a little, especially given that I was starting with nothing, having earned two degrees in piano performance.

One of the problems, and blessings, about living in a city with a relatively small singing community is that we all know each other. We’re all in the same small pond auditioning for the same roles, and we all know the people who are getting them or not getting them. Being in direct competition with friends and other people who I know and like (both musically and personally) is not easy. It’s not easy when a friend gets offered a role that I really wanted. I know that it’s just part of the business. In fact, a big part of starting off in this business for me has been learning to forget an audition right after I do it. I have no illusions that I will be offered every role or concert I audition for, or even one out of every two or three. The most important things for me right now are to keep growing as a musician and actress, to keep auditioning, and to trust that I’m on the right path. I’m getting better at that. I’m pretty sure it’s something I’ll always work on.

In the past couple of days I’ve run in to a slightly different difficulty. Getting offered the role means that other people (who really wanted it, too) didn’t get the offer. I like to get along with people. It bothers me when I feel like I can’t, whether or not it’s in my control. I don’t like feeling like, by my success, someone else has been hurt.

It’s all part of learning to be a good colleague, I guess. I hope that I can be happy for people’s successes, and not view them as my failures, because they really aren’t, when I step back and look at the big picture. And when I do get the gigs, I hope to do the work to the best of my ability, and to know and accept that competition is just part of what we do. It’s part of the business, but not part of the music and art that we create, which is why I’m on this path in the first place.

vacation?

2006-03-31T17:06:00.000-08:00

I have the next two weeks off of school. I didn't realize until I was driving away this afternoon how tense I was (am). The combination of (somewhat frantic) rehearsals for La Cenerentola and 4 classes a day of kids with serious spring fever is not a good one. I've been craving vacation, and I finally get one.....

.....well...... sort of.......

Next week I have about 25 hours of editing to do. I also have 12 piano students and 1 voice student to teach, 6 hours of teaching at the small music academy where I spend my Saturdays, 15 hours of Cenerentola rehearsals, 2 Cenerentola performances, and a lesson (which I'll be taking, not teaching). Oh, and I have to finish my taxes. Hardly a vacation, I'd say! I do, however, get to sleep in at least a little past 5:30, which is when I usually have to get up to make it to class on time. I will also have time for a few lunch and coffee dates with friends and a concert.

Happily, during the second week of my break, I have the following things on my calendar:

Sushi with good friend LL
An overnight trip to Port Townsend with Alec to visit his brother, where we'll be staying in a quaint Victorian hotel
A haircut
A coaching or two, and a lesson
Planning an upcoming short recital
A massage, to get rid of some of the aforementioned tension

Just looking at all that lovely white, empty space on my calendar (yes -- I still use a hand-written date book, if you can believe it) for that week makes me feel more relaxed already!

ugh...

2006-03-20T10:52:00.000-08:00

I'm very jealous of ACB for having her taxes finished already. With all the craziness of moving over the summer, I'm left with a sizable hole in my record-keeping, so now I'm left digging through receipts and bank statements to try to fill it in. The upside is that this time of year always serves as a good kick in the pants to make sure that I have this year's records in order up until now. We purchased a home this year, which we're hoping will help somewhat, but I have trouble believing that we won't owe at least some money. Such is life for self-employed musicians, and when there are two of them in a family, it's bad news in April.... sigh.... Yes, we could avoid this by paying quarterly taxes, having extra withheld from checks throughout the year, etc. However, one fact of life when a good portion of your income comes from performing and teaching is that there are good times and lean times (lots of gigs at Christmas, kids on vacation in the summer and not taking lessons, etc.), and when it comes down to it, I'd rather have that extra money in a savings account in my control, just in case. Oh, well, back to my bank statements....

warm fuzzies

2006-03-16T09:07:00.000-08:00

When I was younger I kept a book of happy thoughts -- a little notebook where I recorded the little things that made me happy. I thought of it today for the first time in a long time. Here are some little things that have made me happy lately:

Releasing my choir classes and hearing them sing the songs we've been working on all the way down the hall and out the door.
Knowing that it's a long weekend (mid term break), and I won't have to wake up at 5:30 tomorrow morning.
Rehearsing an opera with some great colleagues.
Exploring new song repertoire.
Working with a new teacher and feeling as though my voice is making noticeable strides in size and beauty, even in a short span of time.
Taking a nap with my cat in the afternoon.
Reading a good book.
Consciously taking a moment to enjoy these little things when I notice them.

What makes you happy?

silence

2006-03-13T13:51:00.000-08:00

Last week, a great writer came to give a talk at the school where I'm working, as part of an annual writers' symposium. The school sponsors a writer to give talks to the middle and high school students, who have all been reading his or her work in class, then the writer visits English classes and leads discussions. I almost didn't go. I almost didn't make the trip across the hall to the theater, in favor of an extra hour of planning time.

What I almost missed was a wonderful, thought provoking talk, followed by equally wonderful, thought provoking questions from the students, who continue to amaze me every day. Mr. Wideman spoke mostly about Education, and the role it should be playing in the lives of young people. Education should include and allow for people to come to know themselves in the process, and only through that knowing of oneself can one begin to understand other people and the greater world as a whole. He spoke of feeling like an outsider as a child, as a teenager, and as one of six African-American students at Penn when he was awarded a full scholarship, and that he continued to feel like an outsider today. Moreover, he offered that it was impossible to enter in to the process of self knowledge without that feeling of not fitting in to the world around us. In my own experience, I have found this to be true. I have often felt most fulfilled by experiences entered in to with trepidation, with a feeling of discomfort, and knowing that I was an outsider to some extent.

Beyond this, he spoke of the absolute importance of silence in cultivating self awareness. Today, when we can take our phones, our music, the internet, television, movies, and other distractions with us everywhere we go, we too often fill our silences up with so many other things that we cannot hear ourselves. Not a new concept, certainly, but certainly one to be reminded of over and over in this noise of day-to-day life. It made me question the last time I had had real silence in my days. It had been a while. In my former life as a pianist, I had lots of it. In a practice room for four or five or even six hours a day, silence was a regular part of my routine. That extended practice time allows for ideas to develop in a leisurely way, for silence and sound to mix. In addition, I lived alone and often found time for meditation, or even just a quiet nap in the afternoon. As a singer I find that I often don't have these luxuries. First, I'm not a student anymore, and real life takes up a great deal more time than student life, allowing less time to practice. Secondly, even if I had six hours a day to practice, I couldn't possibly sing for that long, or even half that long if I have other singing to do that day. Certainly, there are other things we have to work on than actual singing -- translating, thinking about acting choices, etc. However, even with all that included, my practicing as a singer tends to be more..... full, is the only way I can think of to describe it. Often I'm learning things quickly for a looming deadline, or brushing them up for upcoming auditions, and a sense of space is lacking.

Now that I have a little more time in my days, I've made it a priority to find silence whenever I can. Still, I'm sure I'll need reminders like the one I was given by Mr. Wideman the other day.

so proud...

2006-03-03T12:09:00.000-08:00

I tell you, there's just something about kids giving their all to performing that totallly gets me. When it comes time for production week, all the struggle that it took to get roles and blocking learned seems to disappear. Seussical opens tonight. It's the first high school show that I've music directed, and I'm very proud of everyone involved. The kids have really stepped it up this week, and everyone has taken the show to the next level with every dress rehearsal and preview. It wasn't an easy road. Student theater (or any theater, for that matter) never is. Things come together at the last minute, people don't know their lines, etc. But then, magically, something always seems to click. Suddenly, when the sets are up and the costumes are on, everybody embodies their character and gives their all to every moment of the show. Would it be nice if this happened all the time? Certainly, though it rarely does, even in professional productions I've been involved with. Why? Well, I attribute it mostly to the fact that giving your all at anything is exhausting. It puts you in a vulnerable place, and that's hard to do on a consistent basis, particularly for teenagers who spend most of their days in vulnerable places anyway. In any case, the final result is really quite astounding. Everybody is working so hard and the performances are really quite wonderful. It's not, in general, a very emotional show, but it is terribly sweet, and I've cried at every run-through so far! I'm a sap, especially when it comes to kids performing. I shudder to think what a mess I'll be someday when I have children of my own in performances of some kind (music, sports, etc. -- it all makes me sob!). One thing that amazes me about this show is how perfectly cast it is. I cannot imagine a more adorable Cat in the Hat, as I'm sure you can see from the pictures, and Jo Jo (left) is so sweet I could just watch her all day. Everyone, from the Whos down in Whoville to the Bird Girls, to Horton the Elephant, to the Grinch, is totally perfect. An added bonus is that after this weekend, my schedule will return to something resembling normal! I might actually have time to do all those little things that need doing, like replacing the burnt-out headlight in my car, or getting a much needed haircut, or cleaning my bathroom. And maybe even a trip to the spa! Aaaaaahhhhhhh.......

vacation!

2006-02-17T13:44:00.000-08:00

My school schedule continues to amaze (and exhaust!) me. Next week is "mid-winter break," a phenomenon which is new since I was a student (not all that many) years ago. Instead of a three-day weekend for Presidents' Day, schools take an entire week off! Normally, when I'm on my regular schedule, and my husband suddenly has a week off in February, I think, "How silly. They just finished Christmas break, and in another month, they'll have a week off for spring break!" However, now that I'm teaching full time and playing after-school rehearsals, I feel a need to express my relief and gratitude for these precious days off, for a variety of reasons.

First of all, Alec and I are going on a real vacation! Granted, it's only 4 days long, but we'll be flying to New York next week, and while I'm there, I won't be doing a single audition, lesson, or coaching. I'll only be hanging out with friends, going to a Lincoln Center Jazz Orchestra concert, looking at Art Deco buildings, and hanging out with my lovely husband, who I feel like I haven't seen in a month! It will be heaven!

In the three days before and one day after we return, I'll be learning an entire opera role plus one scene. First, I'm singing Tisbe in La Cenerentola in April, and our first music rehearsal is a week from Saturday (yikes!). Of course, with Seussical in full swing (the week we get back to school is production week), Cosi previews, traveling to auditions, and teaching, I haven't had time to learn the role yet, and it's a lot bigger than I thought it was! Happily, we are singing it in English, and I don't anticipate learning it to be too much of a problem. I'm a quick study, and it's Rossini, after all, not Schoenberg. Still, in retrospect, I'm glad that I'll be singing Tisbe in this production and not the title role, as I had originally hoped. These things have a way of working out.

Secondly, I'm being considered for a role in an opera next year with the Seattle Early Music Guild. It's only a small role, but it's in a great opera run by some really great people, so I'm thrilled, and keeping my fingers crossed! They gave me a scene to look at, and I'm having a coaching on it on Monday.

In short, I have my work cut out for me, but I'm still on vacation! Yay! :)

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

2006-02-14T10:53:00.000-08:00

I'd forgotten what a big deal Valentine's day is in schools -- everybody is wearing pink and high on chocolate, and it's not even lunch time!

just for fun

2006-02-13T12:57:00.000-08:00

AC at the concert posted the link to this quiz and I thought it was fun.

I'm a French Horn. (also scored high as string bass, oboe and bassoon, but definitely not violin).

If you were in an orchestra, what instrument would match your personality?

****Edited to say: Oops! This is what I get for going out of town for the weekend and not checking in online to see that EVERY blogging musician has done this quiz already! :)
Apparently I'm the only opera singer in the world (other than AC) who's not an oboe!

all done!

2006-02-13T12:45:00.000-08:00

(written at 2:45 p.m. in the Calgary airport)

Well, it’s done! I think, all things considered, it went very well. It was a different audition committee this year, and they were not as friendly and chatty as they have been in the past, though that really doesn’t mean anything.

I had a moment of panic when my pianist (who came highly recommended) came in to the waiting area, introduced himself, and said, “Wow that’s a really tough Mozart piece you’re doing, eh? How do your other accompanists handle it?” (He was referring to “Smanie implaccabili,” which is tough, I suppose, though it’s also one of the most commonly performed arias in the mezzo repertoire. Luckily, we had a chance to talk through everything before it was my turn – he didn’t realize I was doing the recitative at the beginning, and the tempo he wanted to take was considerably slower than what I normally do. However, in the audition, everything was fine, and I breathed a sigh of relief. They were flying through people, generally only hearing one aria, and when I got to the end of Smanie, they heard part of “Things change, Jo,” and then it was over. I didn’t even get to do my monologue, which was a little disappointing! I mean, I learned one and everything…. Oh, well, maybe next time.

They chatted with me a bit after the audition was over, asking how I had heard about the program and why I was interested in doing it, etc. Then, I was off to a yummy lunch, and I will shortly be on my way home. A whirlwind trip, to be sure!

I made it!

2006-02-13T12:42:00.000-08:00

(written at 9:15 a.m. on Saturday)

I’m writing in bed, from my hotel room in Calgary. Internet access is $12.95 a day here (yikes!), so I’ll wait to post until I can find a Starbucks or something later on. Calgary seems like a great city, and I’m sorry I won’t get to spend more time here! My hotel is lovely, with six huge feather pillows on the bed. I was hoping to sleep in today, but apparently, when one is used to getting up at 5:30, 8:30 is sleeping in. Oh, well.

The flight up was great, and I even checked in here in time to catch the lighting of the flame and Pavarotti singing in the opening ceremonies. Right now, speed skating is on (have I mentioned that I’m a total Olympics junkie?). It’s always interesting to watch Olympic coverage in another country. The last time the summer Olympics were on, we watched them mostly from Edinburgh, Scotland. It’s interesting to see the sports we never get to watch in the states, and to hear the different colours (a little Canadian spelling for you) of the commentators.

I had a lesson yesterday afternoon before heading to the airport. Being with a new teacher means approaching things from a slightly different way, of course, and I wasn’t sure whether I should take my audition pieces to the lesson. Banff only requires two arias, so I certainly had other things I could have sung. Not everything we would go over could be implemented before today’s performance, and it’s possible that thinking about new things might get in the way. I didn’t really decide until I was asked what I wanted to work on. “Why not?” I thought. “I can always choose to ignore the advice tomorrow if I don’t think it will help.” So, I started with the 20th century English (“Things Change, Jo,” from Little Women) and then we worked on “Smanie”. I made the right choice! We had a great lesson, and the changes (most of them minor) were easily implemented and totally fixed a couple of issues I’ve been wanting to deal with in both pieces. I plan to do some mental rehearsal this morning, and make sure my monologue is ready to go. I’m also drinking LOTS of water and tea, as Calgary is extremely dry! My breakfast (oatmeal – yum!) should be arriving in about half an hour, and then I will have plenty of time to have a long shower, warm up, and get ready for my audition at 2:15.

Looking out my window this morning, I saw that one of my favorite Canadian restaurants is right across the street, between here and the audition site, so I think I’ll be stopping there for a late lunch before heading back to the airport. A quick but pleasant trip!

what is that strange, foreign color I see in the sky?

2006-02-09T09:50:00.000-08:00

The sky is blue! After 6 weeks of basically solid rain, we here in Seattle have been granted a few days of respite. I have two giant, floor-to-ceiling windows in my classroom that look out on this lovely view.

The picture was taken with my phone, so it's not the greatest, but the building you see is the campus center, and in the distance, you miss the lovely view of mountains that I see from my seat at the piano. It's hard to concentrate on teaching classes!

my fingers hurt!

2006-02-08T14:48:00.000-08:00

Seussical is mostly a rock show, with lots of driving rhythms and loud music. Since I've been playing the rehearsals without a drummer or bass player, I've been pounding away at the piano even more than I will in the actual performances. In addition, there's really no dialogue in the show at all -- it's pretty much musical number after musical number, so playing a rehearsal involves 3 solid hours of pounding. After last night's rehearsal, I woke up this morning with a feeling I haven't had since graduate school -- sore fingers! I have strong hands, and I've never had any bouts of tendonitis or any of the other hand and arm problems that plague so many pianists, but I'm going to have to make a few visits to my sister to make sure that remains the case. Right now, I mostly just feel like my hands have been through a good workout -- my fingertips and the corners of my thumbs are tender, and I've been stretching out my forearms all day to try to get rid of the stiffness before todays rehearsal, which starts in a few minutes.

In other news, I'm getting ready to go to Calgary this weekend for an audition. Normally I just drive up to Vancouver for this audition, but this year the Vancouver dates didn't work with my teaching schedule, and the Calgary auditions are on Saturday, so I decided to build up some frequent-flyer miles. This audition is unusual in a couple of ways. First, they don't provide a pianist. Normally, this only requires a few inquiries and a phone call or two to secure a good accompanist for the audition, but it was slightly more complicated this time. It seems that there is a huge music festival/competition in Alberta this weekend, and I went through about 12 pianists before I finally found someone. No big deal, in the end, and he seems really nice and came highly recommended.

The second oddity about this audition is a fun one -- they require a monologue. I don't often get to work on monologues, and I quite like them. I also finally have one that I feel really comfortable with, from A Perfect Ganesh by Terrence McNally, one of my favorite playwrights.

I've never been to Calgary before, and though I'll be there less than 24 hours, I'm very excited. I love Canada, and having lived there for 4 years and graduated from a Canadian University, I almost feel part Canadian. It always feels like going home in a way, even if I'm going to a new place. It does, however, make getting ready slightly more complicated in the midst of my currently crazy schedule. First, I have to find my passport! Second, I have to go to the bank to get Canadian currency to pay my pianist, as writing American checks for Canadian funds, while possible, causes nothing but headaches in my experience. In any case, it should be a fun trip. This audition, when I've done it in the past, has always been a very positive experience.

I'm hoping my t-shirt arrives before I leave!

I've decided to take it as a compliment....

2006-02-06T14:23:00.000-08:00

Word is out at school, thanks to my singing at the party last weekend, that I'm an opera singer, and I've gotten numerous requests from students to "sing opera" for them all week. On Friday, I sang a bit of one of Carmen's arias for one of my classes at the end of the period. When I finished, one girl had this to say:

"Whoa! You should totally be on American Idol!"

tee hee.... :)

a lovely day

2006-02-06T07:18:00.000-08:00

Some days I'm overwhelmed by how lucky I am to be a musician. I spent the morning rehearsing Johann Christoph Bach's gorgeous Lamento: Ach, dass ich wassers gnug hatte, for an upcoming performance. Then, it was off to sing some of my favorite parts of Dorabella (Smanie, both Fiordiligi/Dorabella duets, and Soave sia il vento, the heavenly trio) in a rehearsal for the upcoming previews of Cosi fan Tutte. A lovely day, indeed.

It would have been perfect if only the Seahawks had pulled it together to win the Super Bowl. Oh, well. Maybe next time....

go seahawks!!!!!!!

2006-02-04T22:56:00.000-08:00

We're determined to finish our Cosi preview rehearsal in record time tomorrow so we can all go home and watch.

a lesson

2006-02-04T13:05:00.000-08:00

I'm happy with my current voice teacher, and feel that she has done wonders for my voice. However, I feel that it's important to take a break every now and then, to allow things to settle, and to get some new opinions. To that end, I had a lesson yesterday with Jane Eaglen. It was my first lesson with a "big name" opera singer, and I wasn't quite sure what to expect. I was in for a real treat!

First of all, I could not imagine a more lovely person. She's friendly and warm with a great sense of humor, and a way of putting people at ease. I started the lesson with "Smanie implaccabili," and then she asked to hear something else, so I sang on of Nicklausse's arias from Tales of Hoffmann. We spent the rest of the lesson working on the latter. It's slow and legato, and covers a two octave range, so it really shows my whole voice. As we worked through the piece, I noticed that her way of approaching technique is very similar to that of my current teacher, which was reassuring. She was very complimentary about most of what I was doing, but was much more specific than I am used to about certain aspects of breathing and achieving good support throughout the voice. She approached everything in a really positive way, and it was really fun to think about things from a new point of view. I noticed a difference right away -- things felt very free and relaxed, and I was able to let go of that last, stubborn little bit of tension in my jaw that I have been working to get rid of. Her basic philosophy is to sing with as little extraneous physical effort as possible, and to sing in a way that will keep the voice healthy for decades to come, which are definitely ideas I can get behind!

I'm hopeful that we can work together more -- I'd really love to explore these new concepts and see how far we can take them. How exciting!

talents

2006-02-01T08:35:00.000-08:00

When I accepted my temporary teaching job, I was asked to sing at a party in January, given the date and time, and very little other information. That party happened last Saturday night. As it turns out, it's a yearly event, invitations to which are bid on at the annual school auction, with proceeds benefitting the school's arts program. Certainly a worthy cause, and I was happy to donate my time. Nearly the entire arts faculty contributes in some way -- photographs, jewelery, paintings, and sculpture were on display from the visual arts department. I sang, of course, and accompanied R, the orchestra teacher, and the drama department had some wonderful surprises in store.

I'm always somewhat skeptical when asked to sing in someone's home. I often want to ask, "Do you know how loud opera singers are?" However, I needn't have worried in this case, as the home in question was more of a mansion than a house, with a huge two-story entryway and parlor (where I sang), complete with a beautiful grand piano brought in specifically for the occasion. I began the evening, and sang an aria from Carmen, as well as Voi, che sapete (in honor of Mozart's birthday, of course), and one of my favorite musical theater tunes, Bill from Showboat. I'm a high enough mezzo that, for the most part, soprano musical theater pieces (which tend to lie quite a bit lower than arias) fit nicely for me, and it's fun to pretend that I'm a soprano from time to time.... :)

I don't think very many people at the party realized that I sing professionally, so watching their faces as I started to sing was pretty fun. Everyone was very kind afterward, and it was great to meet some of the parents of the kids I've been spending so much time with, but that was only the beginning of the evening! We then went downstairs to look at some of the amazing artwork of the faculty, including some incredible hand-made silver and copper bracelets which should be selling for thousands of dollars somewhere. Then, S, the drama teacher and stage director, gave an incredibly powerful performance of a couple of monologues that moved everyone in the room. After a brief break so we could all catch our breath, B, who teaches stage crafts, set design, etc. at the school got up and told a story. He was introducing himself and chatting with the crowd, and suddenly, almost inperceptibly, his voice changed to an Irish accent and we were sucked in to this amazing tale of giants, which was exciting and so hilarious. We were all like a group of school children, totally engrossed in the tale from beginning to end, and he was so masterful in his crafting and telling of the story! Finally, we headed back upstairs, where R played some beautiful Bach solo violin, followed by my favorite, O Danny Boy, on viola. She asked me to sing it first, a cappella, so that people could hear the words. When it comes to that song, I'll sing it anywhere, any time, so I happily belted it out.

What an amazing opportunity to share in the talents of this amazing staff! How great would it be if we could all have chances to see the hidden talents of our co-workers?

just for fun

2006-02-01T08:29:00.000-08:00

Over at snapshirts.com, they'll create a word cloud from your blog and put it on a t-shirt for you. (No purchase necessary to create the word cloud.) Here's mine:

My favorite part about it is the presence word "organized". If only they could see the inside of my car!

and, of course....

2006-01-27T08:26:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday, Wolfi!

diseases, shadows, and a belated new year's resolution

2006-01-18T14:46:00.000-08:00

I am a happy person. I tend to be cheerful almost all the time. I don’t like feeling dissatisfied, ashamed, sad, full of regret, angry, etc….. and so I tend to get past those feelings very quickly and move on. My mom calls it a disease. J

I don’t think that I suppress bad feelings, only to have them explode later on. I don’t think I’m particularly passive-aggressive (at least, I try not to be). I generally handle my bad feelings in a healthy way, and vent when I need to. I just like to put them behind me as quickly as possible.

For example, I got rejections, essentially, from all the programs I auditioned for in New York in one day last month. It affected me a little more than usual, mostly because I felt like the auditions went so well, and I was hopeful that something would work out. It was a bad day. Well, it was a bad hour, and then I felt better. Now, I still have a couple auditions to do for the summer, and I have some back-up plans if none of those things work out. I’m not feeling sorry for myself. However, I’m realizing that there are benefits to living in those dark moments for a while, and exploring them. Some of the most remarkable personal growth in my life has been during times of great sadness. For one thing, it’s important to examine things, to find out if there’s something I could be doing better, and to make those changes, if possible. But beyond that, there’s a whole other side to my personality that only comes out in those moments. I discover things about myself that I don’t see in my normal, cheerful, day-to-day existence. I’m forced to ask myself those difficult questions that I don’t deal with on an average day. Not in a self-pitying way, but in an honest and real way. What would it really mean for me as a person if this or that situation did or didn’t come to pass? Would I still be able to be happy and fulfilled as an individual, even if I never get to……….? The answer (so far, anyway) is always yes. And it’s important to get that perspective. I go back to being happy and cheerful, but it’s different than before – refreshed, truer, and more grounded.

I have a friend who, up until a few years ago, was having a great deal of success performing early music as a vocalist. She was singing in some great situations, and becoming very much in demand. She pushed through a performance when she was very sick, developed vocal nodes, and had to have surgery followed by 6 months of TOTAL vocal rest followed by a year of no singing. When she came back to it, obviously, it wasn’t the same, and she is no longer singing, as far as I know, on a regular basis. I haven’t been in touch with her for some time, but the last time I talked with her, she was grateful for all of it. It reminded her, she said, that singing was not life itself – just a form of expression within it. And she had a real life that was far more important to her in every way.

I hope I’m never in that situation, but I’m reminded of it as I make this resolution to spend some time exploring this year. I want to live for a while with whatever I’m feeling, even if it takes me in to the shadows, and to see what those moments have to teach me.

one way to make my day....

2006-01-11T09:34:00.000-08:00

I was standing in line at the cafeteria yesterday, when one of the girls in my zero-hour choir (which meets every day at 7:25 a.m.) came up to me and said, "I just want to tell you that concert choir is SO fun -- I love the music we're doing!"

It's moments like those that make me love teaching. It's a lot easier to get up at 5:30 (yikes) every morning if I know I'm providing even one student with a reason to love music and a reason to sing.

Still, 5:30 is awfully early....

In other news, my audition for the Seattle Opera young artists program is today. It miraculously fits right in to my teaching schedule so that I don't even have to have a sub today. At least my voice was up and working nice and early!

Happy New Year!

2006-01-03T12:09:00.000-08:00

I've been very bad about posting lately, but that will all change soon. I have been saving up things to write about, actually, and hoped to get some good posting in over the break, but the stomach flu (followed by a brief but lovely vacation -- life is not so bad) took precedence.

I started work today at a small private school, filling in for a friend on maternity leave. I'm teaching 5-12th grade choirs and music directing their spring show, Seussical the Musical, which is based on the writings of Dr. Seuss and promises to be very fun. My schedule at the school is great (for example, I'm currently in the middle of a 3-hour break), and should leave me at least some time for practice and editing. So far, the worst part about it is getting up early -- my first class starts at 7:20 every morning! It's amazing how much longer the day is when one rises that early. Other than that, it's a great job. I've worked here, as a sub and as part of their musicals, on several occasions, so I feel at home, and the kids are great. My room is right next to the school theater, and has a very comfy couch in it, on which I'm currently lounging.

One down side to this job is that I'll be here more or less all day, Monday-Friday. It really cuts in to my flexibility schedule-wise, and I'm already feeling the effects as I try to schedule lessons and rehearsals around my job. It really makes me realize how lucky I am the rest of the time to have such a wonderfully flexible schedule. However, being so busy (and I'm in for one extremely busy spring) also makes me more productive, and believe it or not, more organized, if only out of necessity. I've cleaned my bathroom (sorely needed), and cleared off my desk, which I haven't seen the top of for months. I've organized my music and finally put away my summer clothes. I've even taken time to write out my 2006 goals and break them in to monthly installments. Some highlights:

pay off all my remaining credit card debt and my car loan (this has been decreasing steadily this year, but this full-time job will definitely help!)
continue to grow musically and vocally, and follow all paths I can find to help advance my career (there are specifics here, to be dealt with in another post.)
keep my apartment organized and clean (a tall order, as both my husband and I tend to be slobs unless we have company coming over, but I'll never maintain my sanity this spring if I come home every night to a messy home). So far so good, and it feels great! Actually, Alec and I will hardly be there, which should keep it from getting too messy!
re-lose the 10 pounds I gained back after losing 25 pounds on Weight Watchers last year

That's it for now! Happy New Year, everyone, and good luck with your own goals and resolutions!

4

2005-12-22T09:22:00.000-08:00

I was tagged for this meme by ACB, and as much as we bloggers all HATE to talk about ourselves, here goes.....

Four jobs you've had in your life: ballet accompanist, music camp teacher, receptionist, and for a very brief time, Disney Store "cast member."

Four movies you could watch over and over: "Love Actually," "You've Got Mail," "Sound of Music," and "Mary Poppins."

Four places you've lived: Stevens Point, WI, Victoria, BC, Bloomington, IN, Pullman, WA

Four TV shows you love to watch: Sex & the City, Sports Night, Friends, Boston Legal

Four places you've been on vacation: Greece, Scotland, Ireland, Boston

Four websites you visit daily: NFCS, Dooce, Set Daily Game, NY Times

Four of your favorite foods: Saag Paneer from Taste of India, Pad Thai, Spicy Tuna rolls, and Pizza from Wallingford Pizza House (the Garlic van Goat Dome with added kalamata olives..... yummmmmmm........)

Four places you'd rather be right now: Victoria, BC (where I'll be next week!), playing cards at D&K's house, Paris, my parents' cabin on Lake Quinault (on the Olympic Penninsula)

Ok, I'm passing this on to my non-music blog friends -- Gina, Beth, and Lane, you're it! :)

getting in to the spirit

2005-12-13T07:51:00.000-08:00

I've had a hard time getting in to the Christmas spirit this year. Maybe it was coming back from New York and heading right back to work. Maybe it's the fact that I still have lots of shopping to do. In general, even though I spent last weekend singing my first Messiah, and am now in full-swing carolling mode, it just didn't feel like Christmas. Until yesterday.

My piano students are having their semi-annual recital on Sunday. For the first time in 6 years, I've had to worry about a place to hold it, and with my trip to New York, it got put off until the last minute. I was looking in to churches and small halls in the area, all of which are booked the Sunday afternoon before Christmas, of course. Then one of the parents had a brilliant idea, and even called and set it all up for me. I can't believe I never thought of this before. The recital is going to be at a retirement home. My kids are excited about performing for people other than their parents. The parents (and I) think it's a great gift to give people who don't have anywhere to go for the holidays, and the home is thrilled to have us. They are handling setting everything up, and providing lemonade and cookies for the kids afterward.

.... and suddenly, it feels like Christmas!

another day, another audition

2005-12-02T19:17:00.000-08:00

Today’s audition was for the Cincinnati Opera young artist program. I wasn’t scheduled until 2:15, which gave me plenty of time to sleep in, have a leisurely shower, and a nice long warm up. Though I had planned to make Smanie implaccabili my starter this season, I have yet to start with it on this trip. Today, I decided right before I left the apartment to start with Nicklausse’s violin aria from Tales of Hoffmann. The company is doing it this summer, and I feel like it really shows my voice well. It’s not flashy, but it’s lovely, legato, and has a big high A at the end.

Cincinnati schedules their auditions 4 minutes apart, so in general, people only get to sing one aria. This was the case with everyone I heard while I was waiting. Nicklausse is about 4:30, so I figured that would be all I would sing, and they might even stop me before the end. But they didn’t. I was really happy with it, and the A at the end was great. A has traditionally been a troublesome note for me, even after my higher notes got under control, so it’s nice to finally feel like I can count on it to be there every time. I noticed that they perked up after I had sung the first few lines, and started looking over my rep list and other materials. At the end, they smiled and said “thank you,” and I assumed that was it, but then they asked for the beginning of the Rossini! I didn’t get through all 7 minutes of it, of course, but I did sing the entire first section, which has a nice balance of fireworks and legato line. Overall, another successful audition!

Now, I’m on the train to Philadelphia, where I will be staying with a friend tonight and then singing tomorrow for Lake George. I’ll let you know how it goes!

one down...

2005-11-30T15:30:00.000-08:00

I had my first audition today, for a fellowship at the Tanglewood Music Center this summer. This was my third time auditioning for them, having received some very positive feedback last year. I love singing for them, for several reasons. First, the members of the audition committee (which included Dawn Upshaw today and last year), are extremely friendly, and the atmosphere in the audition is relaxed and welcoming. Secondly, the auditions are held in a recital hall which has a lovely acoustic for singing. Finally, the audition rep for Tanglewood is different than for most other programs, in that they only require one aria, and the rest of the selections are all art songs. I love singing art songs. The opportunity to delve in to the poetry and languages involved, and to interact with both pianist and audience on a more intimate level appeals to my love of the multi-faceted aspects of singing. I love that each art song is a little world, complete unto itself, while an aria is merely a moment in a larger dramatic work. I also feel that my extensive piano background gives me unique insights in to these worlds.

Another aspect of Tanglewood that I find appealing is its focus on new music. This year, the fellows will present 3 small, twentieth-century operas as part of the festival of contemporary music there, and we were asked to prepare a piece from one if we were interested in the role. I prepared a piece from Stravinsky’s Mavra, which I decided (at the last minute) to start with. When I walked in to the hall, they remembered me from last year, which is always a good sign, and asked for my first piece. They seemed surprised when I chose the Stravinsky, and the pianist took a minute to look it over, which told me that nobody so far (at least today) had chosen that piece – another good sign. It went well, and everyone was very enthusiastic at the end. Then they asked for the Ravel song I had listed. Perfect! It’s from my all-time favorite cycle by my all-time favorite vocal composer, a cycle which I have performed on numerous occasions and which fits me like a glove. The pianist was excellent and extremely sensitive, and I felt like it was a great performance. One person on the committee even clapped a little at the end, and everybody obviously liked it. After a little small talk we said goodbye.

I walked out feeling elated. Whether or not I get in (though it would be SO great to get in!), it was an extremely positive experience. What stands out most to me, in hindsight, is the feeling I had that I was totally in control of what was going on the whole time. I was totally present in the moment, and felt as though I was able to shape the performance in to whatever I wanted it to be. I was definitely “in the zone,” which we strive for every time, but doesn’t always happen, and certainly doesn’t always happen to the extent it did today. So it was a success. On to the next!

on my way!

2005-11-28T14:37:00.000-08:00

(written at about 11:00 a.m. PST on Sunday)

I’m on my way to New York. Though it’s one of the busiest travel days of the year, I got through security in 15 minutes, and the only empty seat on the entire plane happens to be next to me. It’s the simple things….

I love flying, mostly because I love people-watching, and being in such close quarters with so many people allows for strange, small, random glimpses in to lives. There’s an extremely good-natured baby sitting two rows in front of me, whom I’ve flirted with on and off throughout the flight. The man directly in front of me, also traveling alone, happily plays peek-a-boo with her from behind his issue of “Opera News” whenever she looks back at him, which delights her to no end, and is somehow incredibly touching to me. The man next to me had a very sweet phone conversation with his two sleepy little boys this morning before we took off. (hmmm… notice a theme? Biological clock beginning to tick, perhaps? It’s true, I’ll admit, but I’m hitting the snooze button, for a little while longer, at least.) I watched “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,” a movie I’ve been wanting to see for some time, and now I’m taking a break from my book, a new release from one of my favorite authors. As of page 32, I’ve cried 3 times, and while I was expecting it to be moving, I hadn’t quite expected this. I could easily devour the whole thing on the plane, and may do just that after finishing this post, though I was hoping it would last through at least part of my stay. Oh, well, I’m pretty sure I could find another book to read somewhere in NYC if need be….

Once we arrive at JFK (still about 2 hours away, I think), I will hopefully find my luggage, a cab, and my way to the apartment I’ll be subletting in Inwood (on the northern tip of Manhattan) for the next 9 days. I actually have directions from the owner to give the cabbie, which I’ve never had to do before, but it should be ok. Both other times I’ve been to NYC for audition trips, I’ve ended up staying at hotels, which has been fine, but I’m excited to be staying somewhere a little more homey, and with a friend from home as well. It will be nice (for my body and my budget) to be able to cook some meals and avoid eating out all the time. It will also be nice to be somewhere I can warm up and practice a little. There is no piano at the apartment, which gave me a good excuse to purchase one of these, which I’ve been wanting for a long time. It’s odd, as a pianist, to play on a keyboard where the black keys are not raised at all, but it rolls up and stores in a little black pouch that fits nicely in my suitcase, runs on 4 AA batteries, and it’s a great tool to have for learning notes and warming up in places with no pianos available. The keyboard is also big enough (4 full octaves) to plunk out most full accompaniments, which is an added bonus. Mostly, though, I have to admit, it’s just a fun toy.

My first audition isn’t until Wednesday, which gives me lots of time to adjust to the new climate, brush up the art songs that are required for this audition, and hopefully catch up with some friends in the city. Ok, back to my book – more from the big Apple!

update: I arrived safe and sound after a bumpy flight, the apartment is great, and the weather in NYC is beautiful and quite a bit warmer today than in Seattle, where apparently they're expecting 3 inches of snow tonight!

update

2005-11-23T21:25:00.000-08:00

I had a great coaching this afternoon and am feeling good about my auditions. I printed out my packing list, not because I've started packing yet, but just as inspiration. I'm about to make a "to-do" list of things that need to happen before I leave. All in all, I'm feeling much more focused, and I'm ready to relax tomorrow and then get back to work on Friday.

... and, look what I made!

getting ready...

2005-11-23T07:48:00.000-08:00

I'm leaving for 3 auditions in NYC on Sunday. Well, one of them is actually in Philadelphia, but it will just be a day trip. I'll be in New York for 10 days, which should give me plenty of time to get some coachings in, and even a little holiday shopping... :)

For some reason, I've found it difficult this year to get in to the audition mindset. Maybe it's because some programs took SO long getting back to people this year -- as of last week, I only had one audition on my schedule, which was a little disappointing. Maybe it's because Thanksgiving falls relatively early this year, and I feel, more than normal, as though the holiday season has been thrust upon me and I don't have time to think about anything else. I'm not making a full Thanksgiving dinner (which is probably good for the rest of my family, as I'm a vegetarian and somehow I think "Tofurkey" would not go over very well), but I am attempting my first pie crust today. Actually, it's my first pie. period. I mentioned to my mother-in-law that I had a new Kitchen-Aid mixer and wanted to try it out, so she suggested dessert and then mentioned that she was craving apple pie. No problem! We'll see about that.... Actually, as it turns out, I don't even need a mixer to make pie crust -- just a food processor. Who knew (other than anyone who's ever made a pie crust)? Oh, well. My sister-in-law, who is a much more experienced cook than I, will be making a well-tested pie recipe, as well, so I don't feel as much pressure as I might. I've consulted with Martha and Alton, so I should be ok.

See, I can't even think about singing long enough to write this post! The truth is, I am really excited about all my auditions, and I feel ready. I've been singing my arias, brushing up some art songs, and even learning a new aria for a program doing some 20th century operas this year (which is right up my alley!). But normally at this time of year, I'd be busily printing out resumes, audition lists, directions to auditions, confirmation letters, and generally thinking of nothing else but these upcoming auditions, and this year that's just not the case. Maybe it's a good thing. Maybe it's a sign that I'm getting used to these auditions and trips, or that I'm in a place vocally this year where I don't feel a need to obsess about them. I think these things are true, but I also need to focus my energies over the next few days. If nothing else, there's a pile of laundry to be done, copies to be made, a suitcase to pack, and general organizing that needs to happen, which should force me to in to audition mode. I also have a coaching scheduled today, which will hopefully give me some last-minute things to think about in my arias.

But then there's the pie....

lessons learned in a weekend...

2005-11-13T11:24:00.000-08:00

It has been a weekend of ups and downs. It's been a shock. After a period of what felt like inactivity (though, in hindsight, it was anything but inactive), I feel like I've been on a roller coaster over the past few days.

On Friday, a difficult and frustrating working relationship came to an end under uncomfortable and painful circumstances. In retrospect, I realize that this was the result I really wanted all along. I realize now that I should have ended the relationship long ago. I knew that the person involved was someone with whom I absolutely could not work. It's as though we speak completely different languages. I left every meeting frustrated, angry, and exhausted. It was supposed to be a temporary situation, and I was hoping to be able to stick it out, but honestly the outcome, painful though it was, was the best possible. It was a job I don't really need anymore, and though I will miss many aspects of it, the benefits (the time it has freed up in my schedule and my mental and emotional well-being) far outweigh the costs. Lesson learned: well, actually.... I had hoped to say I learned to keep my big mouth shut, but in actuality I'm not ashamed of anything I said, though I do admit my timing could have been better. However, if I had trusted my inner voice which was screaming at me that this was a situation destined for disaster, I could have avoided the whole thing.

Second lesson learned: sometimes it's worth the wait. I auditioned for a local company in June, for an opera coming up this spring that I was very interested in doing. After so many months of waiting, though I knew they hadn't finished making offers yet, I had more or less given up hope. However, on Friday I received an offer for a role. While it is not the lead role that I had originally hoped for, it is a significant and fun role in the opera and will be a great first experience in what I hope to be a long list of roles by this composer. I've been receiving lots of feedback that it's great rep for me to be singing, and I'm excited to start exploring it onstage.

Lesson #3: it never hurts to ask. I received a letter several days ago explaining that I had not been granted an audition for a particular young artists' program. I was disappointed: they are doing an opera next year that is right up my alley, and I had had a couple of coachings with someone on the staff of the program who had seemed to like my voice and enjoy working with me. I talked with my teacher about it she was surprised. "I know D, she said, would you be comfortable if I asked him about it?" Well, D approached me yesterday, and said that it had all been a mistake -- he had specifically remembered my name coming up while they were listening to tapes and had said he knew me and wanted to hear me!

Finally, I've learned that hard work really does pay off. I sang (for the final time, as I am at the age limit) at the Met auditions yesterday -- a nation-wide competition that hundreds of young singers participate in every year. I was not given a prize, however, I was happy with how I sang, and was looking forward to feedback from the judges. All three had constructive things to say, of course, and that's why I had asked them for feedback, but it was different this year than ever before. In the past, there have always been basic technical issues, mostly dealing with my high range, which I was aware of, that were a constant theme through all three judges. This year, I received the following comment: "You have a great, easy top. It's nice to hear a mezzo with a top that really works. I was impressed." YIPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEE!

Ok, in reading over this post, I realize that it was not a weekend of ups and downs after all. In fact, it was more a weekend of one down at the beginning and then lots of ups! There's still half a day left, of course, but enough excitement for 3 days! I'm ready now to relax, and maybe clean my neglected bathroom....

Christmas carols

2005-11-10T10:23:00.000-08:00

Ok, at the risk of sounding like a sell-out....

I just accepted a gig for the last 10 days or so before Christmas, singing in a Victorian carolling quartet. (Ok, so our costumes are actually more 1930's, but you get the idea) I will be strolling around a local mall for three hours every evening leading up to Christmas eve, not shopping (though I'm sure I'll do some of that before and after), but singing alto lines of carols....

....and I'm totally excited about it! Admittedly, it's not an opera role or an oratorio gig, or even a Messiah at a local church. But, I love singing Christmas carols! And, the money is really pretty great, considering how easy the work is. And, I didn't have any other gigs during that time, so why not, right? It actually feels a bit like coming home for me. The first "professional" (paid) singing I ever did, long before I ever thought about taking a voice lesson, was as part of a Victorian carolling group here as an undergraduate. I knew then that I loved to sing, and it gave me my first opportunities to start singing solos (something I had never done), and to really perform songs, and to dress up in fancy costumes, and to work with other professional musicians and actors, and I totally fell in love with every aspect of it. Mostly, I think I loved seeing people enjoy what we were doing, and feeling like I was part of creating a magical holiday atmosphere for them. (No, I was not working for Disney!) When I think back, I realize that it played a totally integral role in my deciding to enter this crazy singing world.

Besides, extra money means extra shopping!

sick

2005-11-08T09:17:00.000-08:00

I'm in much better spirits. Thank you all for your kind words. Unfortunately, once I let my guard down a little, the cold I've been trying so hard to fight off for the last 2 weeks finally hit me, accompanied by a migraine on Saturday as an added bonus. I'm determined to be healthy by the met auditions this weekend, so I've spent the last few days with my trusty facial steamer and neti pot, zicam, Emergen-C, throat tea, and I've even broken down and taken Nyquil at night, which I almost never do. I do seem to have been blessed with a light case, though, and it seems to be moving through pretty quickly. Today is the first (and hopefully the last) day I've had a sore throat, so I'll limit myself today to a few very gentle warm-ups and some mental rehearsal, and as little talking as possible. I'm also going to my favorite pho place for lunch with a good singer friend (the only one in Seattle I know of to offer 100% vegetarian pho), and nothing, in my opinion, is better for a cold than a hot, steamy bowl of pho. Yum!

Yesterday, I still felt well enough to go to a scheduled coaching, which went extremely well, and I'm feeling confident about this weekend. I'll let you know how it goes!

wallowing...

2005-11-04T19:47:00.000-08:00

I’m having a bad week, for a variety of reasons. I knew, when I started studying voice, that there would be certain doors that would be closed to me because of my late start. Still, I really felt (feel) that singing is what I’m supposed to do, something that I need to do. Generally, I think my attitude about it is pretty good. I’ve had a lot of successes, and I’m grateful for those opportunities. However, there are those weeks, like this one, when the odds seem to be stacked so high all around me that I can’t see out to my next step. When programs do not grant me auditions, and I’m left to wonder what I did wrong (Did I audition for them before I was ready and make it on to some sort of black list, never to be heard again? Is my resume pathetically underdeveloped, in their eyes, for a singer my age? Is there some horrible, glaring error in my recording that I missed before sending it out?); when a local company doing an opera I’d really love to do is taking forever to make calls, and even though nobody else has heard anything, I can’t shake the feeling that if they really wanted to hire me I would have heard already; when all of this is set against a backdrop of incredibly positive feedback about my singing recently; and when I feel like I’ve made so much progress in the last year, I am left in a state of confusion, frustration, and disappointment. Such is the business of singing (and of many things), I know, but sometimes I have to ask myself, why? Why am I doing this to myself? And while I know in my heart that I know the answer to this question, some days something in me just won’t stop asking. There are few things more frustrating in life than not being given a chance. To know you can do something and not get a chance to prove yourself is one of those things that are just not fair.

Add this to a particularly frustrating editing job, 100 3- and 4-year-olds high on Halloween candy and coming off a week of vacation, and a new boss who is extremely difficult for me to work with musically and personally, and the result is a very cranky girl.

When I look over the last couple months, and the coming months, objectively, I know that things are not so bad. I just finished singing a lead role and two performances of one of my all-time favorite pieces. I have some fun gigs coming up and some exciting possibilities. I have been granted some auditions and I realize that the important thing is to focus on the opportunities that I do have and make the best of them. I’ve been blessed(?) with a stubbornly optimistic outlook (my mom calls it a disease), that never allows me to remain in these states of depression for long, and even as I write this I feel somewhat better, though I’m determined to wallow and pamper myself a little for the rest of the evening (no editing, no planning for tomorrow’s classes, just me and my book that I’ve been trying to finish for the last month, and maybe some leftover Halloween candy).

M-MV, one of my favorite blogs, seems also to be fighting a bad day, and had some advice that has helped me immensely this afternoon.

“I choose this. Again. And again. Every time.”

I know that this path is one that I’ve chosen, and one that I continue to choose with each passing moment. I don’t have control over everything that happens along the way, but I do, ultimately, have complete control over my outlook, my reactions, and my choices. I know that I could choose another path at any time. That’s not happening today. Probably not tomorrow either. I’ll let you know if I change my mind.

And, finally, thank you, M-MV, for reminding me:“Without the occasional bad day, I might fail to recognize just how damned good I have it. So, I embrace the bad days and their aftermath, too. May we all have a few if only to remind us how good the rest of the days are.”

there are no words....

2005-11-03T09:30:00.000-08:00

Yowza!!!

one down...

2005-10-26T13:54:00.000-07:00

I’m in the San Jose airport, waiting to fly home from my Merola audition. Overall, I was happy with how I sang, and I felt like the response from the adjudicators was fairly positive, but I did not make the finals, so I’m on an early flight home. I was a bit disappointed, because I feel like I’m bringing a lot more to the table in auditions this year than I have in the past – my voice is totally different than it was a year ago, and I feel like I’ve grown as an actress as well. My resume has grown, too, though I’m missing a major apprenticeship or young artist program. I feel like I’m in the position of needing to have experience to get experience, which is an interesting and somewhat frustrating dilemma. However, this was only the first of several auditions this year, and as I said, I was happy with how I sang, so I’ll just keep doing what I’m doing. There’s a lot that’s out of my control, so all I can do is control the things I can and hope that the rest eventually takes care of itself.

On a lighter note, it was a fun trip! I got lots of quality time with SL, my oldest friend (we’ve been friends for over 20 years!) and her lovely, lovely little boy Ty (who at 21 months knows that “Uncle Alec plays drum set” and that he loves his “Auntie Meliss” – how can that not melt your heart?). I also saw two colleagues at the audition. It’s a small world we singers live in!

Onward and upward!

my first meme!

2005-10-17T20:48:00.000-07:00

I was tagged by Gia-Gina to write the 23rd and 5th meme, where I am to dig in to my archives and write about the 5th sentence of the 23rd post. So, here goes......

All this is to say that it is wonderful to see the kids at camp, all music geeks in their own ways, all getting along, making music together, and finding a network of support and friendship among people who share their passion for music.

Those who know me, or have been reading this blog for a while, know that I have been working at the same music camp every summer since I graduated from high school, and had been a camper there for a few years as a child, as well. It has been a constant in my life. Wherever I was going to school, as I was starting life as a professional musician, as I was transitioning from pianist to singer, camp has been part of my life through it all. Some of my oldest and dearest friends are ones I made working there. I met my husband there. It has helped me become who I am today, in many ways. It's a magical place, and I'm always touched by how accepting the kids are of each other, and how kids who just "don't fit in" in their regular lives can come to camp and totally come out of their shells. They come in shy and self-conscious and leave with confidence and a new circle of close friends who love them for who they are.

This was a particularly poignant summer for me, as I realized that camp is a chapter of my life that is coming to a close. I was able to fit it in to my schedule this summer, but while I was there, I felt like it was pulling me away from singing, and it didn't feel quite right. Hopefully, in future summers, I will have direct conflicts with apprentice programs, or roles, or concerts. But even if I don't, I can't take a month off of singing in the middle of the summer. It's not that I really felt like my voice suffered because of it, but I can't stand to be away from it for that long. As hard as I tried this summer, I realized that it is impossible to focus on learning a role or practicing without feeling like I was ripping myself in two. Camp is basically a 24-hour a day job, and the things I do there definitely do not relate to opera. People there do not know me as a singer, which is fine, but the more time I spend there, the less I feel like a singer, and I don't like that at all. So, as much as I love it, I think it's time to say goodbye. Some of my friends from camp will stay in my life in other capacities, and I will still get to visit (Alec still works there), but I'm fairly certain that this was my last summer of working there. Change is hard....

.... and now, acb, it's your turn!

you be the judge....

2005-10-17T11:54:00.000-07:00

The performances of H&G this weekend went very well. Being a boy is fun! Here are the promised pictures of my hair, from the dress rehearsal. I actually got it a little straighter for the performances, but this will give you the basic idea....

So, what do y'all think?

oops...

2005-10-14T10:47:00.000-07:00

I commited the cardinal sin of theater a couple days ago. I got my hair cut right before the opening of a show. I know, I shouldn't have done it, and believe me, I've learned my lesson. I checked it out with the director -- we mutually agreed that I would get my nearly shoulder-length hair cut in to a page-boy style, which would look much more Hansel-like. I went to my stylist on Wednesday, and the dress rehearsal was last night (Thursday). The director was the first person I saw in the theatre, and she loved it (as do I), and thought it was perfect for the show. I was relieved and thought that would be the end of it. Boy, was I wrong!!! EVERYBODY had a strong opinion about it, from the stage manager to the general director of the company, to the ladies in the chorus, to the little girls playing the gingerbread children. Some loved it, and some (while most of them tried, unsuccessfully, to be diplomatic about it) definitely did not like it. But, the one thing all of them had in common was an apparent need to share their strong opinions with me. None of them seemed to care that it had been an agreement with the director, or that there was no mention in my contract of what I should do with my hair, or that there is no hair person for this show to give me guidance, or that I really do look much more like a little German boy with my hair this way. Once my ego has recovered, perhaps I'll post a production photo and you can give me your opinions as well.

Once that element was added in to what was already destined to be a stressful rehearsal last night, I was grateful when I woke up this morning and remembered that my sister and I had a date to come here this morning to unwind and relax. It was just what the doctor ordered, and it's only 10 minutes away from my house! I'm currently sitting in their free internet lounge, drinking a melon-pineapple-mango juice from their juice bar, and basking in the residual warmth from the hot therapy rooms and whirlpools. Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh........

the experiment, part deux

2005-10-13T11:24:00.000-07:00

Goodness! Apparently this is a problem that is not just confined to the singing community! I had my second appointment this morning, and am feeling even better than after the first. So far, I'd say the clenching has been reduced by 75%. I've never had these kinds of results before -- with regular massage, stretching, night guards, you name it, I've tried it. It's definitely not comfortable while it's happening, but the results are amazing. We've set up weekly appointments for the next month, and I'm assured that by the end, there will be no clenching, even in my sleep, and the shiatsu won't even hurt anymore, at which point I can switch to a monthly check-in.

According to my sister, there are literally thousands of forms of shiatsu, variations stemming from several original masters and dating back thousands of years. This particular method is known only by Mike (my sister's Sensei), and his brother, who has a practice next door to Mike's in Seattle. Mike has chosen three students --his nephew, my sister, and one other woman -- to pass on his knowledge to and ensure that the tradition will continue. Pretty cool. All I can say is, if the Seattle area is accessible to you and you suffer from this problem, you should go see them!

an experiment

2005-10-10T21:23:00.000-07:00

For years, I've had a problem with clenching my teeth. Mostly, I just do it while I'm sleeping, but I also catch myself doing it often when I'm stressed or worried. I know lots of singers with the same problem -- I'm not sure whether it's more common with us, or whether it's just a common problem in general. It's terrible for my teeth, and not so good for my singing or general well-being either, as it causes the muscles in my neck and shoulders to tense, and gives me headaches when it's at its worst. Last week I was particularly busy, and there were some fairly stressful H&G rehearsals, and I noticed my teeth were mashed together so tightly when I got up in the morning that I felt like I had to pry them apart.

My sister, who is an amazing massage therapist, is currently being trained by a shiatsu master. (I imagine it to be a Mr. Miagi/Karate Kid kind of relationship.) She has regular lessons with him, and since she's begun her training, her outlook on many things, particularly diet and medicine, has changed drastically. She was giving me a massage the other night, and briefly rubbed my jaw. I winced in pain and she asked if this was a normal occurence. Then, she said, "After your massage, I'll work on that a little. I can make it so that you won't clench your jaw anymore." I was extremely skeptical. Apparently, clenching my jaw is a manifestation of stress (big surprise), but the reason I clench my jaw as opposed to any other physical manifestation of stress is that my circulation (which seems to be at the center of the theories behind shiatsu) around that area of my body is not good, and I clench to try to move blood through. After my 80-minute, heavenly, relaxing massage, as I was ready to drift off in to blissful slumber for the night, she told me to sit up on the table, and rubbed my jaw in quick, half-moon motions. I tell you, it was perhaps the most excruciatingly painful experience of my life -- for about 5 seconds, and then the pain disappeared. We repeated this, her rubbing, me whimpering, in three different places on each side of my jaw, and then around the back of my head. OUCH! But, afterward, I did feel better. The muscles all the way down my neck had released, and my head moved freely from side to side in a way that felt slightly foreign to me.

She told me that it would take a few more sessions for me to stop clenching entirely, so I'm going to see her again on Thursday. Already, I've noticed that I've all but stopped clenching during the day, and I can tell by the way my jaw feels when I wake up that even the night-time clenching has been greatly reduced. If this works, it will be a miracle -- I've actually bitten through night guards! I'll let you know.

the ideal bag!

2005-10-06T15:21:00.000-07:00

Since beginning my editing job, which I can conceivably do anywhere in the world I happen to be for gigs, auditions, or other travel, I've been looking for the perfect bag -- something that would protect my laptop; leave room for music, i-pod, current novel, purse, and other essentials; and yet still be comfortable and not appear bulky. I was not having much luck, but then I received this belated birthday present from my parents over the weekend. At first I thought it would be too small -- it's only 14" tall, which is exactly the size of my laptop. However, I've currently filled it with my computer, H&G score, i-pod, binder of arias, book to read on the ferry, zicam and emergen-C (I'm fighting the cold that has knocked my poor husband on his a** this week), mini-disc recorder and microphone, purse, and datebook, and not only did it all fit, but it's compact, organized, and comfortable to carry, thanks to the padded, ergonomically-designed shoulder strap and well-padded back (so my hip doesn't get bruised from walking around with it banging against my body. It both zips across the top and buckles at the flap, and the strap is long enough to wear across my body, so I'll feel totally secure with it on the subway and streets of NYC or wherever I happen to be. It even converts in to a backpack! Hurray!

another Requiem down....

2005-10-04T13:09:00.000-07:00

The Mozart concert this weekend went extremely well. I got to listen to the recording at the post-concert party at the conductor's house, and the choir and solo quartet both sounded great - there were some truly stunning moments. For a couple pictures and more info on the concert, visit the concert. I had a great time getting to know and singing with SH and RA, two friends of ACB's from Santa Fe.

In other news, I booked my flight today for my Merola audition later this month. I love booking flights -- there's something about the feeling of being at the beginning of a journey that appeals to me. It's so full of possibilities. Plus, on this trip, I will get to stay with Sandy, my closest friend from 4th grade, and spend some time with her and her family (including cutie baby Ty!). Hopefully, this will be the first of two audition trips to San Francisco this season, so I'll get to see them again soon.

I also got a call for a new gig this weekend -- a Messiah in December. It will be my first full Messiah (I've done all the arias in concert, but never in the context of the entire work), and there will be three performances, so I imagine I'll feel very comfortable with it by the end of the weekend. The timing worked out perfectly around my audition trip to NYC in December, and it will be the second of three (so far) concerts that ACB and I will get to sing togeteher this season. It's always nice to be able to work with good friends that I also highly respect as musicians and colleagues.

a good kick in the #%&*@!

2005-09-29T19:00:00.000-07:00

When I'm in a show or have a concert performance coming up (both are true at the moment), I tend to limit my practicing to those pieces. For the last couple weeks, I've mostly been practicing Hansel and Gretel and the Mozart Requiem. However, today I got my first confirmation of an audition time for this season, and it's coming right up! Better get those arias back out! Yikes! Back to practicing....

check-in...

2005-09-27T15:21:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting in a lovely coffee shop, taking a break from editing. I have to say, I love having one thing I do that's not music-related. When I finished my master's degree, I was very intent on being "a professional musician," and only took on music jobs. And I could make ends meet, and everything was fine. However, there were jobs I was doing that really didn't interest me all that much, even though they involved playing or singing. Now, I can be a little more picky about the music jobs I take, and fit in an hour or two of work between lessons and rehearsals, or between jobs, while at the same time enjoying a grande soy chai latte and a yummy piece of chocolate-almond loaf. :) And, I feel like I'm expanding my mind by thinking about something other than music for a change. It actually feels more like a break to me, and I love the fact that I could conceivably do this anywhere in the world my singing happens to take me. Of course, the fact that I'm being paid (very well) to take these "breaks" makes it even more enjoyable.

I'm just about to leave for the ferry terminal (I have to take about an hour's ferry ride to get to Hansel and Gretel rehearsals). Tonight is a run-through with piano, and we'll be wearing our costumes for the first time, as a representative from the local paper will be there taking photos. My costume is extremely comfortable -- I basically feel like I'm wearing sweats to perform. One of the benefits of playing a boy, I suppose!